Charlotte Austin Johnson

nihilist optimist

[Charlotte Austin Johnson @chark___attack]

Hey! Thanks for sending in those pages. Let me first say, we LOVE the world. But we're wondering if it might make sense to do a punch pass on the dialogue. "Until union members start losing their apartments" felt a little on the nose. We want more nuance for our villain. We als--

[Charlotte Austin Johnson @chark___attack]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

[Charlotte Austin Johnson @chark___attack]

I personally am not on Ozempic and this is probably alarmingly genuine for my effectively unused Twitter account of 40 followers, but am adding these thoughts for the aliens to discover one day after they wipe out human society

[Charlotte Austin Johnson @chark___attack]

From my observation and experience, the people making Ozempic jokes are the same people making fat jokes / believe it’s universally accepted that being thin is a success and fat is a failure. You gotta pick a lane.

[Charlotte Austin Johnson @chark___attack]

I’m television comedy writer and all for using humor to skewer society, and there’s a lot of absurdity within the Ozempic conversation involving class, fame, power, health care, a lack of self awareness, and privilege, but let's not forget the larger context here.

[Charlotte Austin Johnson @chark___attack]

@BrotiGupta would love to be considered for writers PA

[Charlotte Austin Johnson @chark___attack]

@emma_soren the worst day of my life was when i had to duct tape the fender of my car back onto my car outside of a very famous KBBQ restaurant. I said to myself if this is not rock bottom then nothing will be

[Charlotte Austin Johnson @chark___attack]

genuinely scared i would like the movie Babylon

[Charlotte Austin Johnson @chark___attack]

@CarolineQuien this is you subtweeting yourself tho

[Charlotte Austin Johnson @chark___attack]

say what you want about Bradley Cooper's A Star Is Born era, he left that voice in the past long before Austin Butler has

[Charlotte Austin Johnson @chark___attack]

also Kate Winslet learned how to hold her breath under water for longer than she was on screen

[Charlotte Austin Johnson @chark___attack]

my honest review of Avatar 2 is: enjoyed it, wanted more sex

[Charlotte Austin Johnson @chark___attack]

*holding out a loose pill* "Wanna go on a ride the likes of which you've never experienced before?" I say, trying to get my brother to take anti-anxiety medication before Thanksgiving

[Charlotte Austin Johnson @chark___attack]

I want to be a Potluck Friendsgiving Personality Hire

[Charlotte Austin Johnson @chark___attack]

Ryan Coogler does this thing where he picks the hottest man you've ever seen in your entire life and makes him the bad guy in a Black Panther movie

[Charlotte Austin Johnson @chark___attack]

This is the new Hollywood Reporter 100 and I'm proud to announce I am on it

[Daily Mail US @Daily_MailUS]

Kanye doubles-down on anti-Semitic claims by sharing SPREADSHEET filled with names of Jewish execs https://t.co/ZPyazm7Hzm

[Charlotte Austin Johnson @chark___attack]

i guess i have to learn who taylor swift is now?:???????>

[Charlotte Austin Johnson @chark___attack]

@BrotiGupta prove it

[Charlotte Austin Johnson @chark___attack]

she's a 7 on her best day but she knows it so she will bend over backwards and pretend to not have needs so that you don't leave her and then when you inevitably leave anyway she will have a breakdown leading to her becoming a 4 but she will learn how to honor and express her wa-