lil $hnarf

fuck yeah it hurts

[bear @wriocake]

this is humiliating

[lil $hnarf @charlazzard]

Would you still love me if I ate all the icing packets out of your (full) box of toaster strudels

[lil $hnarf @charlazzard]

Imagine giving birth to a baby boy, looking at him directly in the eyes, and then naming him Scut Farkus

[Swamp_Ape_Science @SouthApe]

Merry Chippus to all that celebrate
🐎🎄

[lil $hnarf @charlazzard]

How does pigeon lady from Home Alone 2 avoid being covered head to toe in bird shit

[maxie (colonizer) 🥩 @maxies_back]

remembering when my college friend made Angelina Juulie

[eli yudin @eliyudin]

TRUMP: I shouldn't say this, but in vermilion city under a truck there's a little pokemon. a beautiful pokemon, the first pokemon, i think

HARRIS: not true.

TRUMP: They won't move the truck. 3 years, they could have moved it. they don't want you to catch the Mew. it's terrible

[charles r. davis @charizardavis]

my therapist gave me this and said, "that's you"

[GobLena @horsedivorse]

first date idea: get matching concussions

[lil $hnarf @charlazzard]

need a tattoo right in the middle of my chest of sarah palin parasailin

[lil $hnarf @charlazzard]

the fedora stays on during sex

[lil $hnarf @charlazzard]

I’m not ignoring you, I just lost my voice at Tipper again and sound like a chimpanzee rat hybrid struggling for oxygen while smoking 10 packs a day

[lil $hnarf @charlazzard]

@horsedivorse has successfully gotten me to open this god forsaken app again

where did the bird go

[GobLena @horsedivorse]

I got a white boy on my rosta he be feedin me rats & lobstas 🐀&🦞

[bailey @Baileymoon15]

white people correctly pronouncing pho

[Jolene Cuisine @_jolenecuisine]

Draco Malfoy’s dad on his way to beat the shit out of Dobby.

[Tolly Taylor @TollyTaylor]

An unoccupied house on stilts in Rodanthe, North Carolina, as it collapses into the ocean this afternoon.
Was worth $381,200 according to Zillow.

[Drewberz @buddy_ferrara]

Dave Tipper at the Met Gala