Da Beard

BORN: 2012 AD

[Da Beard @chasecalesbeard]

I once arm wrestled a polar bear....under water...and won.

[Da Beard @chasecalesbeard]

I did some squats at the gym and the roid dude was jealous.

[Da Beard @chasecalesbeard]

One time I had a threesome with a minotaur and a unicorn.

[Da Beard @chasecalesbeard]

If vampires suck my neck they grow a beard

[Da Beard @chasecalesbeard]

If you like thick girls hang out at Starbucks.

[Da Beard @chasecalesbeard]

Hey, @RealWizKhalifa why did you name yourself after pee?

[Da Beard @chasecalesbeard]

I once tamed a water buffalo with a Snicker bar.

[Da Beard @chasecalesbeard]

I can pee for seven minutes straight.

[Da Beard @chasecalesbeard]

I'm making my own line of bearded dildos. #CCBD

[Da Beard @chasecalesbeard]

Those guys in Duck Dynasty didn't have beards till they met me. #majesty

[Da Beard @chasecalesbeard]

Who is up for some snow blowing?

[Da Beard @chasecalesbeard]

Skinny boys run fast #killacam

[Da Beard @chasecalesbeard]

Saw a ginger give a lap dance #scarredforlife

[Da Beard @chasecalesbeard]

Did you know that if you're 15 and lie you look stupid when you get caught? Just wondering, dip shit. #bbc

[Da Beard @chasecalesbeard]

Any you ladies need a white (facial) Christmas?

[Da Beard @chasecalesbeard]

On my way to fuck your bitch

[Da Beard @chasecalesbeard]

I like older women, too. Will you be my wingman? @aplusk

[Da Beard @chasecalesbeard]

On my way to fuck ur bitch

[Da Beard @chasecalesbeard]

Can you give me some pointers? @RealRonJeremy

[Da Beard @chasecalesbeard]

Ever since @MotherFuknCales moved to Stillwater, I've got some stories for you! #lotion