Esteban Escareno

Enologist. Twitter is a graveyard for my funny thoughts.

[Esteban Escareno @cheevocabra]

Can we all agree that if anyone claims to have traveled from the future to stop the 2016 Elections that we at least need to hear them out?

[Esteban Escareno @cheevocabra]

I never knew @DrinkAriZona Arnold Palmer cans were meant to be life-sized.

[Esteban Escareno @cheevocabra]

Inside Out 3 should introduce the Babadook as Grief. #insideout2

[Esteban Escareno @cheevocabra]

Are diss tracks eligible for Grammy nominations? #TheyNotLikeUs

[Esteban Escareno @cheevocabra]

Chili without beans is just a spicy bolognese. Don't @ me.

[Esteban Escareno @cheevocabra]

I want a version of the DALL·E AI called DAL·E that hides Pitbull in every image. #mrworldwide #dalle2

[Esteban Escareno @cheevocabra]

Never ask a Jamaican if they're a polyglot, no matter how many languages they speak.

[Esteban Escareno @cheevocabra]

What if alien abduction anal probing is just an alien trap-neuter-release program because they can see we're over populating, but they're just confused about our anatomy?

[Esteban Escareno @cheevocabra]

The price of a donut at Dunkin is $0.99. A few cents more and we'll have to change the saying to "I'd bet donuts to dollars."

[BunnyMuffins 🐰🧁 @BunnyMuffinslol]

🚨TFT EGG GIVEAWAY🚨

200 Little Legend Eggs (20 eggs x 10 winners)

To enter:
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📢Winner announced next week!
NA Only
#LeaguePartner

[Esteban Escareno @cheevocabra]

@thongria The old man store with the cigar humidors and pocket watches and chess sets.

[Esteban Escareno @cheevocabra]

Gonna tell my kid this is the real Harry Potter the books were based on.

[Esteban Escareno @cheevocabra]

I cook with so much umami it'll make you say ay papi.

[Wubby @PaymoneyWubby]

PUT IN MY APPLICATION, PARTNERING WITH @alluux @TheCW BLUE BARRACUDA FOR LIFE

[Esteban Escareno @cheevocabra]

Look, just because I'm fat and bearded, and I'm wearing a hoodie and athletic shorts with tall white socks and sneakers, DOES NOT mean that I'm a DoorDash driver. #profiling

[Esteban Escareno @cheevocabra]

https://t.co/jCBUbJFSpV

[Esteban Escareno @cheevocabra]

In honor of #NaNoWriMo I'm finally starting my alternate history novel where the US didn't become a fascist nazi dictatorship.

[Esteban Escareno @cheevocabra]

@TolarianCollege Hey I went to SRJC too! High school class of 99 so chances are you weren't there anymore. Go fighting uhh... *checks notes* bear cubs?

[Esteban Escareno @cheevocabra]

In the future the term 'nonbinary' will be considered deeply offensive by androids.