Andy Lisnoff

Have fun, but be kind.

[Andy Lisnoff @ChefNoff]

I just found out that @Apple has a voice on Mac (Not sure if it's available on the iPhone) that sounds just like @RFKJr_Official @SecKennedy.
Settings > Menu Bar > Clock Options > Announce the time > Voice > Wobble.

[Andy Lisnoff @ChefNoff]

Hey @FedEx, fuck you! How the fuck do you let this happen? How lazy do you have to be to not walk and extra 4 feet. Unacceptable!

[Bill Madden @maddenifico]

Holy shit! This is what I'm talkin' about. David Clayton is running for congress in North Carolina's District 5 against MAGA Republican Virginia Foxx — and this is how he introduced himself. 🙌💪👏✊️👇

[Andy Lisnoff @ChefNoff]

Hey, @amazon @AmazonHelp is this package delivery method acceptable to you?

[Andy Lisnoff @ChefNoff]

@AmazonHelp This is how your driver delivered my package. WTAF?
Listen to how hard he threw it.

[Tinnakorn🌹🇹🇭 @ItsTinnakorn]

Random U.S. Politics Fact

Bill Clinton is the first president to have sexual relations with two major presidential candidates contesting in the same election.

[Andy Lisnoff @ChefNoff]

@amazon this is how your driver delivered my package. WTAF?

[BODEGA PEPTIDES @bigsnugga]

u can hit a headshot from 2 football fields away and u wasted that talent on him? brother dream bigger next time

[Canada Hates Trump @AntiTrumpCanada]

Canada is a sovereign country. We have free universal healthcare, a longer life expectancy than the USA & we don’t live in fear of getting shot up here. We will never be a part of the USA you fucking deranged, sociopathic dumbfuck. SO SHUT THE FUCK UP!

[Really American 🇺🇸 @ReallyAmerican1]

BREAKING: A stunning new video of Donald Trump getting booed relentlessly at the Super Bowl just was released. It’d be a shame if it went viral.

[Morgan J. Freeman @mjfree]

Pls don’t share this video of Trump being booed!!!

[Andy Lisnoff @ChefNoff]

To all of my Latino friends. I'm sorry that Donald Trump is a Cunt.

[Andy Lisnoff @ChefNoff]

Hey @Google Fuck you!
#GulfOfMexico not #GulfOfAmerica

[Andy Lisnoff @ChefNoff]

@BryJacoby @ZackBlatt It’s 56 years too late.

[Andy Lisnoff @ChefNoff]

@daren_frazier

[vanessa @assenavmarie]

The Jets benched Aaron Rodgers since the score was 40-0 during the Bills game and backup Tyrod Taylor scored IMMEDIATELY in his first drive…

[Andy Lisnoff @ChefNoff]

@daren_frazier Never get that here.

[B/R Open Ice @BR_OpenIce]

Spencer Carbery's reaction to Charlie Lindgren throwing up during intermission while also making the potential Save of the Year 😂

[Andy Lisnoff @ChefNoff]

@daren_frazier Classic.

[Andy Lisnoff @ChefNoff]

@daren_frazier

[SportsCenter @SportsCenter]

"I think Juan Soto looked at the New York Mets' future ... and believed that the Mets have a better future than Yankees."

@JeffPassan tells @notthefakeSVP on why Soto chose the Mets over the Yankees despite only a $5M difference 👀