Entry no. 6
When my self esteem was so low and I thought that I’m not an amazing person, God showed me and let me feel that He loves me so much; and He can see that I am worth more than I know. Truly like how Jesus said in Matthew 10:31,
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Entry no. 5
My OCD is racking up my head again. It came to a point that it was overwhelming, so I prayed; in my prayer, I trusted my fears and worries to God because it was simply too much for me to handle. A few seconds after saying my prayer, I felt His peace immediately. —
Yes it was that fast, and it truly shows that God is always listening. You can always entrust to God your fears and worries! Just trust in Him and let Jesus handle the rest. He truly is my sanctuary and peace.
Entry no. 4
He’s always there for me even when I don’t put Him first. I owe everything to Him and despite sinning again and again, God never gave up on me. He still gives me peace and love. I don’t know what I did to deserve Him but I am repenting for my sins. —
He never fails to make me feel that He is there. God is good and He will never (has never) turned His face away from us. He is always listening.
This reminds me of the Gospel from John 1:47-51; wherein Jesus promised Nathanael that God saw Nathanael under the fig tree.
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47 Jesus saw Nathanael coming to him, and saith of him, Behold an Israelite indeed, in whom is no guile 48 Nathanael saith unto him, Whence knowest thou me? Jesus answered and said unto him, Before that Philip called thee, when thou wast under the fig tree, I saw thee. —
49 Nathanael answered and saith unto him, Rabbi, thou art the Son of God; thou art the King of Israel. 50 Jesus answered and said unto him, Because I said unto thee, I saw thee under the fig tree, believest thou? thou shalt see greater things than these. —
Matthew 11:28-30
28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30. He listens all the time especially when it’s quiet. God always came through for me so I should do better for Him, because He never did anything less for me. God always gave me more than what I asked for and deserved. I am truly at my loving God’s mercy. —
Entry no. 3
I have noticed that I wasn’t putting Him first every morning as I wake up and every night as I sleep. The next morning I woke, I asked for God’s forgiveness as I carried my sin; when my prayer goes on, I suddenly felt my burden become light as Jesus said in —
and I would always be grateful for that. Just like when He gave His hand when Peter sank, Jesus extends His holy hands towards me so that I too would not drown in my thoughts. He keeps me grounded and safe in a way that no storm will ever sink the boat that I am in—
Entry no. 2
God is gentle, meek, humble, and kind. Whenever I would have an OCD attack during prayer, I felt His peace. It’s as if He was laying a blanket of gentleness and love on me during that moment. He is present whenever I feel anxious or overwhelmed with my thoughts, —
as I did that, I felt my mind being enveloped in warmth and purity. In that moment, I felt peace. And whenever I have those thoughts, I simply remind myself of His godly presence. It truly was an honor to experience that, as it became my pillar of strength for the times —
He then told me gently, “I can hear all of it”. Hearing that brought me clarity because I have been continuously fighting the thoughts and He heard all of it, the good and the bad. He did not shun me away for it but instead, He came closer—so I rested my head on His shoulders; —
We were sitting on the grass and I can feel His immense goodness radiating out of Him. The feeling was surreal because how can someone be this good? I felt no evil as I sat beside Him. Then my thoughts surfaced and of course, I became nervous as Jesus was sitting beside me. —
Entry no. 1
It happened a few months ago as I was dealing heavily with my OCD. The thing is, my OCD is directed at God so I was repetitively thinking of gruesome things toward Him. As I slept that night, I had a dream of Jesus sitting beside me on a hill. —