cherendipity

[cherendipity @cherbear712]

I’m gonna lock in but first I’m gonna dissociate indefinitely.

[cherendipity @cherbear712]

Did you know what it’s called when people misunderstand the meaning of a word but it gets used wrong so much that it becomes the new meaning?
It’s ironic.

[cherendipity @cherbear712]

Olympic headlines be like “first American to win a gold medal in stick throwing after eating granola for breakfast while in a long distance relationship!”

[cherendipity @cherbear712]

The writers of Beavis and Butthead had to have 4 and 6 year old boys. This cannot be a coincidence.

[cherendipity @cherbear712]

Just passed a place called “Whetzel’s Automotive”. If you’ve been given a name like “Whetzel”, you have no business in automotive and you must traffic in pretzels. This is a crime.

[cherendipity @cherbear712]

Made it through dry January! I wasn’t doing dry January but someone was and we all made it through. Whew

[cherendipity @cherbear712]

For a moment I forgot what century I’m living in and I turned off a light. With a switch. What was I thinking? We have robots for that now.

[cherendipity @cherbear712]

To calculate the number of cups your family will dirty, use this equation: x^x
x= number of people in your family
You’d think it would be simple multiplication but it turns out we gotta go and get exponents involved

[cherendipity @cherbear712]

5 wide eyed and excitedly: Funderstorm?? We are NOT driving the convertible today
Me: Well that’s good because we don’t have a convertible

[cherendipity @cherbear712]

If you don’t drink coffee we can still be friends, I just won’t know how to impress you 😂

[cherendipity @cherbear712]

I am self-maid. I’m my own maid and some other people’s too.

[cherendipity @cherbear712]

I am not self-made, I pick myself apart and achieve no success. I am self-dissasembled.

[cherendipity @cherbear712]

In the interest of building confidence, let’s all share something we’re good at. I’ll go first.
I’m really good at….
Washing a tissue with every load of laundry.

[cherendipity @cherbear712]

ORANGE YOU GLAD?? https://t.co/7p3Rnp5ZVk via @weebly

[cherendipity @cherbear712]

It's Party Thyme https://t.co/QpJW0GPeIU via @weebly

[Ronald N @ronaround74]

Used a fabric shaver to de-fuzz some sweaters tonight. Not to brag, but I'm kinda crushing my goal to live a more exciting life in 2017. 💪

[cherendipity @cherbear712]

Come join me, because #StarbucksforLife is better with friends. #contest https://t.co/GMWghxOkCn

[cherendipity @cherbear712]

1st realization of 2017; I'm too old to crash parties

Saddest part of this realization; I was the youngest person at the party

[cherendipity @cherbear712]

My first act of 2017; crashing a party

2nd act of 2017; faking death so I don't have to work because I stayed up all night crashing a party

[Jeff Wysaski @pleatedjeans]

Dragon caves have amazing acoustics I went in to slay a dragon but slayed a Rush song instead the dragon loved it we've started a cover band