Charity

[Charity @cherpers]

@VrilmasterKek @dose_of_Close Your fanfic of me is fascinating

[Charity @cherpers]

There are so many takes like this online but they all have a fundamentally flawed premised. Sex drive is not static. It’s not solely health related or genetic or built in. Sex drive is meant to thrive within healthy love. Outside of that context sex drive dries up, most commonly for women. Healthy relationships require work and maintenance. Sexuality is more of a barometer of the health of the relationship than causal.

Often a “mismatch” was not always a mismatch and doesn’t always have to be moving forward.

Men: Get flirty. Lead in your home. Get fit. Quit porn. Be a man you’d admire. Become a great lover.

Women: believe your man can be amazing. Encourage him but don’t mother him. Don’t accept his low effort, you know he can do better. Tease him. Focus on taking care of yourself.

Do these things and then see if all this doomed mismatched sex drive talk reflects your reality.

[BerserkChip @BerserkChip]

This is so dark and sad. Sexual compatibility is extremely important in a relationship. It's perfectly fine to have a low sex drive, or a high one.

You should not feel terrorized by your partner, nor should you feel unwanted by them.

[Charity @cherpers]

People don’t need perfection to have genuine desire. But I do think you need genuine desire on both sides before having sex and I think men want that too. I don’t think anyone actually wants sex when one of participants isn’t into it. You do need to improve enough to inspire desire and it’s very doable.

[Charity @cherpers]

@VrilmasterKek @dose_of_Close Yes you can tell I’m an ethot by all the thirst traps I post 😂😂😂 what fantasy have you resorted to? Why are you talking about ethots to a normal suburbs lady who never posts pics? Are you okay?

[Charity @cherpers]

Calendaring sex creates a sense of obligation. Obligation kills desire. Obligation gets in the way of flirting and the dance. Some people who have strong relationships already can handle it I’m sure but it will not help a situation where desire is fizzling out. It will make it much worse. If you want to destroy a woman’s libido make her feel obligated to have sex. If you want to destroy a man’s game and confidence make him feel entitled to sex. It’s just not wise.

[Charity @cherpers]

@VrilmasterKek @dose_of_Close Men who find what I’m saying offensive or ridiculous should definitely not get married. Agree with you there. But you’re out here defending beta men who want their wives to do the labor for them.

[Charity @cherpers]

@AveignDubya @anymanfitness Sex with your spouse *should* be fun but the man in the OP isn’t doing any of that and unfortunately the comments on that post show how offended men are at the idea they might actually need to make sex good for their wives.

[Charity @cherpers]

@JoErwin_K @Brien_Jackson @grok do men typically start watching porn after they get into marriage or long term relationships or does it typically predate their adult relationships?

[Charity @cherpers]

@KaneSilver13 @EspressoJose If sleep beats sex for her he’s not giving her good sex.

[Charity @cherpers]

@djmikeyb99 @Kaysharic Absolutely. Use your words and then ponder why you have a man that’s such a bad lover he doesn’t notice or doesn’t care when it’s bad for you.

[Charity @cherpers]

@VrilmasterKek @dose_of_Close Wives love when guys act like this. Most guys do the “willing to listen” thing which is beta and low effort instead of the “determined to become an expert” thing

[Charity @cherpers]

“Willing to listen” is passive and unsexy. Why isn’t it already your mission to become an expert on her body? Why are you passively waiting for her to offer it up? Why aren’t you already expirimenting studying and asking her questions? “Determined to become an expert” is actually sexy.

[Charity @cherpers]

“Willing to listen” is passive and unsexy. Why isn’t it already your mission to become an expert on her body? Why are you passively waiting for her to offer it up? Why aren’t you already expirimenting studying and asking her questions? “Determined to become an expert” is actually sexy.

[Charity @cherpers]

Some guidance is great. He really should be the one initiating that though. Asking questions and studying her carefully. If he’s not already doing that then her offering guidance can feel like she’s begging him to be interested and caring and that’s a real libido killer. If learning your body isn’t already a mission he’s highly focused on then guidance just feels desperate.

[Charity @cherpers]

@VrilmasterKek @dose_of_Close Dude just openly admitting he doesn’t want to have to learn his woman’s body.

[Charity @cherpers]

@VrilmasterKek @dose_of_Close Yes. The men should have the mental load of pleasuring their wife. Duh. Is that something you don’t want?

[Charity @cherpers]

Omg this is so dumb and I think you know it. You know perfectly well we’re talking about a man who disregards his wife’s pleasure for the whole sex act. Not someone that keeps going for a couple minutes after they’ve already finished. The mental gymnastics you’ll do to defend selfish men are amazing.

[Charity @cherpers]

@Kaysharic Honey the man in OP was absolutely already withholding from his wife. He didn’t care one bit for her pleasure. He used her and she let him until her libido was absolutely demolished because he couldn’t be bothered to make it good for her. Better to have no sex than bad sex.

[Charity @cherpers]

@GlowG0ddess @Kaysharic My man doesn’t need me to coddle him to be happy thank God.

[Charity @cherpers]

@dose_of_Close Because women are not men. Women want to be led. Want to be taken and swept of their feet. If you want a man try a tranny off grinder. Good lord do you even realize how gay you sound?

[Charity @cherpers]

Right so man who literally just finished was in fact aroused to the point of orgasm and his wife was clearly not selfishly excluding his pleasure. Like are you really that dumb? Obviously if this was reversed and the man is getting his wife off then he’s not selfishly disregarding her pleasure. What are you even talking about?