"i'm not obsessed with sex... just can't stop thinking about it. The performance of it... the awkwardness of it... the drama of it. The moment you realise someone wants your body... Not so much the feeling of it." - Phoebe Waller-Bridge scene from Fleabag
i crave a relationship like how a sheepdog is loyal to its flock. like how nuns worship their gods. i crave a purpose disguised in companionship. but a single person cannot be someone’s purpose. it only breeds resentment, envy, codependency, possessiveness, and eventually ruin.
not to say i have not done the same. i think being in many relationships has made me recognize how often i do. ive tried to become better about it over the years. i no longer seek someone perfect. i want someone flawed. which, is a problem itself, because i end up attracted to