𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒉𝒆 𝜗ৎ

recovering???? idek anymore⋆‧°𓏲ּ𝄢 22 - hw: 59kg ugw: 40kg cw: 47kg

[𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒉𝒆 𝜗ৎ @chex2x2]

𐙚 #moothunt looking for active moots <3

♡ 22 - she/her - lesbian
♡ ednos - hw: 59kg gw: 42kg ugw: 40kg cw: 47 kg
♡ pro recovery! - basic dni
♡ my dms are always open if you need to talk ᢉ𐭩

♡ ⸝ ↻ to be moots !
#edtwt

[𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒉𝒆 𝜗ৎ @chex2x2]

why can’t i just be one of those ppl who are just naturally skinny and lean

[𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒉𝒆 𝜗ৎ @chex2x2]

i hate how now i keep eating and feeling like shit. What’s the point of recovering if i still feel horribly with the addition of gaining weight and hating myself even more?

[𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒉𝒆 𝜗ৎ @chex2x2]

i’ve been crying so much these past few days, basically i eat and cry, cry and eat
SOMEONE FREE ME

[𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒉𝒆 𝜗ৎ @chex2x2]

i really feel like everyone will leave me if i gain weight

[𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒉𝒆 𝜗ৎ @chex2x2]

i gained two kg and i wanna kms

[𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒉𝒆 𝜗ৎ @chex2x2]

my period came back btw, a lot of mixed feelings

[𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒉𝒆 𝜗ৎ @chex2x2]

is crying at every single meal part of the recovery or i’m just losing it???

[𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒉𝒆 𝜗ৎ @chex2x2]

i want my period back so badly but i don’t wanna gain 😭😭😭😭

[𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒉𝒆 𝜗ৎ @chex2x2]

the hard thing is that i decided to recover when i was still not even close to my gw, its bittersweet

[𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒉𝒆 𝜗ৎ @chex2x2]

the weird thing is that i’m suddenly extremely worried about my health overall. I realized i don’t want to be sick or have permanent health problems

[𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒉𝒆 𝜗ৎ @chex2x2]

3 months after i’m still trying to recover, i’m eating regularly and trying so hard not to hate myself for it.
i lost my period tho cause i can’t bring myself to consume enough fats

[𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒉𝒆 𝜗ৎ @chex2x2]

btw i’m seeing a therapist, trying to eat regularly and not kms BUT I STILL HATING MYSELF

WHEN DOES IT ENDDDDDDD

[𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒉𝒆 𝜗ৎ @chex2x2]

i’ve been gaining on 1100kcal???????????????????????????????????

[𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒉𝒆 𝜗ৎ @chex2x2]

my head is already filled with food thoughts 24/7, i need everyone to stfu

[𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒉𝒆 𝜗ৎ @chex2x2]

why does everyone have to talk about food, I FEEL SO MUCH ANGER IS INSANE. You never realize how much ppl talk about food and eating until your trying to recover from an ed

[𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒉𝒆 𝜗ৎ @chex2x2]

i felt unusually good for one evening and today i feel the worst i felt in the last couple years. I’m so tired of crying and hating myself all the time. Why can’t i just make it stop

[𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒉𝒆 𝜗ৎ @chex2x2]

i need to get out of this cycle, i need to recover for real. Even if i keep doing this i’m not losing shit anymore cause i just keep on binging and binging, i weight more now than before my relapse. I’m exhausted.

[𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒉𝒆 𝜗ৎ @chex2x2]

io non voglio più vivere così

[𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒉𝒆 𝜗ৎ @chex2x2]

mi odio tantissimo, la cosa divertente è che sono io a fare questo a me stessa. Mi sento così patetica

[𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒉𝒆 𝜗ৎ @chex2x2]

my mom just called my ed a “diet” WTF IM KILLING MYSELF, AM I NOT DISORDERED ENOUGH????