mike cooper

Morning show host with Erin Davis on 98.1 CHFI Toronto

[mike cooper @chficooper]

@funnyoneliners We had a fire in the bathroom. Its a good thing we got it out before it reached the house.

[mike cooper @chficooper]

I think airlines should let you exit the plane on the inflatable slide when it's your birthday.

[mike cooper @chficooper]

I always give 100 percent...except when giving blood

[mike cooper @chficooper]

This fell from the sky in Ennismore yesterday. Is $500,000.00 too much to ask?

[mike cooper @chficooper]

If zombies ever attack just go to Costco, they have walls, years of food and supplies, and zombies can't get in without a Costco membership

[mike cooper @chficooper]

However lonely you feel, you're never alone. There are literally millions of bugs, mites and bacteria living in your house now. Goodnight

[mike cooper @chficooper]

Did you hear about the guy who invented the door knocker just won the no-bell prize?

[mike cooper @chficooper]

Yah know what I hate? People that use big words but not in the right context. To me they are just being ambiextrous.

[mike cooper @chficooper]

And finally...What do you call suncreen in Ireland? Pubs

[mike cooper @chficooper]

And finally...What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colours? A reptile dysfunction?

[mike cooper @chficooper]

Seeing a spider isn't a problem, its when it disappears when it's a problem.

[mike cooper @chficooper]

I bought a book on eBay called ,"How to scam on eBay". That was 3 months ago,, and it hasn't arrived yet!

[mike cooper @chficooper]

My wife said she's leaving me because of my obsession with CB Radios. I think it's over....over.

[mike cooper @chficooper]

My wife just finished a 8 hour shift. I knew she'd find first gear eventually

[mike cooper @chficooper]

And finally: My girlfriend called me a 'spineless wimp'. I was so angry I made her breakfast in bed.

[mike cooper @chficooper]

When I see a bruised apple at the market, I give it a soft hug and whisper, "Who did this to you?"

[mike cooper @chficooper]

I was in the supermarket the other day and I met a lady in the aisle where they keep the generic brands. Her name was 'woman'.

[mike cooper @chficooper]

And finally: I put a Toronto Maple sticker on my broken vacuum. It sucks again!

[mike cooper @chficooper]

And finally...Someone should make a shoe made out of Legos, so when you step on a Lego it doesn't hurt. You just get taller.

[mike cooper @chficooper]

Looked in mirror this evening and said: "take away George Clooney's looks, his money his smile, his personality and his women...you got me!