todd

Opinions are like assholes. We all have them and they all stink.

[todd @chicken_ofthe_c]

You into battstuff?

#BatmansDMs

[todd @chicken_ofthe_c]

@HEB board meeting:
“we’re losing our asses in wasabi! cut back the serving size in 2019 or we’re going under!” #MissionAccomplished

[todd @chicken_ofthe_c]

@CityOfMemphis if it’s the bluth stair car, all will be forgiven

[todd @chicken_ofthe_c]

hey @CityOfMemphis come fix your damn jet bridge... stuck on a plane right now due to broken jet bridge that apparently the city owns so the airport can’t work on it #efficiency #memphis

[todd @chicken_ofthe_c]

@CityOfMemphis 32 minutes in we’re waiting for stairs to deplane in the rain

[todd @chicken_ofthe_c]

@BudgetAtlanta silly of us to assume the cars we rented would be here when we arrived to pick them up, right?!

(insert 0 star rating here)

[todd @chicken_ofthe_c]

the two stages of winning a @McDonalds gold card:

#McDonalds #gold #yum #winning

[todd @chicken_ofthe_c]

regardless of the outcome...

player of the match:
val kilmer, keeper extraordinaire

#WorldCup #WorldCup2018 #Denmark #denmarkvscroatia

[todd @chicken_ofthe_c]

.@netflix
tough one. but i finally found it. maybe you can too.

#staircase #Netflix #MichaelPeterson #blowpoke

[todd @chicken_ofthe_c]

.@netflix
spoiler alert...

#staircase #netflix #MichaelPeterson

[todd @chicken_ofthe_c]

god: *chuckles* i shall call him, “michael”

#staircase #netflix #browsbeforehoes

[todd @chicken_ofthe_c]

.@HoustonChron
Vindication.
I’ve told everyone that the beaches in Texas are shit for years. https://t.co/4493Y6o0nm

[Houston Chronicle @HoustonChron]

Poop levels are on the rise at these Texas beaches https://t.co/QHq4I4XbD5

[Theresa @tlcprincess]

He’ll never ask... #TweetsFromTheSchoolDance

[todd @chicken_ofthe_c]

@tlcprincess will you dance with me...??

#TweetsFromTheSchoolDance

[todd @chicken_ofthe_c]

*mouth breathing during slow dance*

“G*ddammit, Todd! Tell your mom to quit packing Slim Jims in your lunchbox!”

#TweetsFromTheSchoolDance

[todd @chicken_ofthe_c]

@jmariec36 luckily we don’t have to wait for mother nature and can get that look even sooner downstairs...

[todd @chicken_ofthe_c]

#ItsAlwaysAGoodTimeFor $20, she told me...

[todd @chicken_ofthe_c]

#ItsAlwaysAGoodTimeFor a little snack

[todd @chicken_ofthe_c]

wave not for me...

#EmbarrassmentIn4Words

[todd @chicken_ofthe_c]

Swipe right up my ass

#5WordTextToMyEx

[todd @chicken_ofthe_c]

Eerie seeing your future, eh?

#5WordTextToMyEx