luke ²

mommy’s making a pubey salad and she wants seths home dressing

[luce @luucceee_]

happy birthday princess diana you would’ve loved john stones

[Danny Davies @DannyDcomedian]

Bellingham looking like a man who has recently bought a house in the local area and is throwing a house warming party in which he will be inviting a lot of the local adults

[Ross🇬🇧 @Rb_1872]

Looks as if he’s about to sing the SpongeBob intro

[insane moments in british politics @PoliticsMoments]

A virtual Handforth Parish Council meeting spirals into chaos (2021)

[The Upshot podcast @UpshotTowers]

These days Trent Alexander-Arnold is a model citizen.

But as a promising young teenager, he was a right dirty dog.

Read on for the sordid story of "Stop Savin' Chat"................................................................................................................

Our story begins in the Russian city of St Petersburg in June 2018.

A 19-year-old Trent Alexander-Arnold is bored stiff at England's World Cup training base.

As Gareth Southgate scrawls the words "trust the process" on a blackboard, Trent's phone buzzes.

It's a message on Instagram from a fan...
But if you're hoping for Trent to send some glad tidings for the new father, stop reading now.

The Liverpool full-back, has other ideas.

On a completely black screen, he writes the words "I'll do it inside u while ur pregnant".

It leads to the following exchange...
Then, later on, he sends her photo of a chopped up banana with the caption: u sucking dick
But on the plus side, he does swing in a great free kick...

[big rob 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 @SimpleFacks]

avin a word

simple as

[PM @____PM1O]

If he’s made it through customs..

[luke ² @chinboy691]

@Lozzacoops77 @ameliadimz @laura_woodsy Give it a rest they’re not gunna shag ya

[Poet @poetscorneruk]

As people are we actually being serious.

[Jonathan Pie @JonathanPieNews]

Is anyone close to Sam Smith going to tell him how fucking ridiculous he looks, or do they all secretly hate him? And don’t give me that ‘beauty standards’ bull crap. He looks fucking ridiculous. Or is that the point?

I don’t get it. Jesus Christ I feel old.

[Average Striker @AverageStriker]

Everton have stepped up their pursuit of Sean Dyche

[luke ² @chinboy691]

@sammyraines123 What you gunna do about it r Raines x

[Stanisabore @biginthebackt]

Woke up. Shat myself. Another day another diarhea

[TATIANNA @TATIANNANOW]

Mood

[Stanisabore @biginthebackt]

Mr avatar groans.
‘Im mr avatar and im about to avatar cum’

[Stanisabore @biginthebackt]

I walk into my room. Mr avatar is lying naked across my bed. My eyes follow the shape of his stunning six-pack, past his blue cum-gutters, straight to his throbbing avatar cock.

[Andrew Tate @Cobratate]

@LayahHeilpern @elonmusk Stop moaning woman.

[Sam 🏄‍♂️ @sam7751]

yer daughter gets elf bars for christmas