Chip Clark

They have the Internet on computers, now? --Homer Simpson

[Chip Clark @Chipotle]

I want to remind everybody that I'm just a random dude who tweets dad jokes. Direct your ecoli tweets to @chipotletweets

[Chip Clark @Chipotle]

@justaround_6 @emptywheel That's exactly what I see

[Chip Clark @Chipotle]

Thanks for letting me and my crew know, but just an fyi we dropped the myspace guy a long time ago - he was a dick

[Chip Clark @Chipotle]

I'll give it my best, but the odds of me catching you are not great

[KELANI 🎀 @LaniBaandz]

Catch me @Chipotle today 🥰

[Chip Clark @Chipotle]

@juliamacfarlane Oasis?

[Chip Clark @Chipotle]

@Achibellla Thanks for the validation, I was starting to think that I was just a character in a video game.

[Chip Clark @Chipotle]

@WalshFreedom @abbydphillip @ScottJenningsKY @CNN The show is modeled after professional wrestling. Jennings is paid to be the heel.

[Chip Clark @Chipotle]

@JonahDispatch @EsotericCD Kudos to Kevin Drum (RIP) for shedding light on the effects of environmental lead poisoning

[Chip Clark @Chipotle]

@ringer @FDSportsbook @HousefromDC @TheCousinSal @AnthonyDabbundo @craighorlbeck @Danny_Heifetz @DannyBKelly @ArielEpstein @john_jastremski @SheilKapadia Pretty sure this is part of Fanduel's government mandated campaign warning of the dangers of betting on sports.

[Chip Clark @Chipotle]

@DanCrenshawTX Getting tired of the "your screw ups excuse our screw ups" defense.

[Chip Clark @Chipotle]

@ringer @FDSportsbook @TheCousinSal @AnthonyDabbundo @HousefromDC @SheilKapadia @craighorlbeck @DannyBKelly @Danny_Heifetz @ArielEpstein @john_jastremski Best anti-gambling PSA ever

[Chip Clark @Chipotle]

@BasedMikeLee Hey Mike, does this qualify

https://t.co/sHLv2pQm7p

[Chip Clark @Chipotle]

@KennyGGee @PatrickRuffini As a troll effort this is pretty weak. You really need to step up your game!

[Chip Clark @Chipotle]

@XWorldTravelers @RepOgles A proposed amendment must be approved by a two-thirds vote in both the House of Representatives and the Senate, or by a national convention called by two-thirds of the state legislatures. The amendment then must be ratified by three-fourths of the states.

[Chip Clark @Chipotle]

Congratulations, but I'm going to need a paternity test

[torri ☆ @torriferociti]

I’m pregnant and @chipotle is the daddy.

[Chip Clark @Chipotle]

@MeghanMcCain

[Chip Clark @Chipotle]

Absolutely, but be very careful our beans are extremely hot.

[Kinzukee🐝 🇳🇬 @kinzukee]

Hey @Chipotle, does my birthday suit count as a costume for tomorrow?

[Chip Clark @Chipotle]

@mattyglesias @nhannahjones Evidently, Elon has forgotten we have national elections every 2 years. If Elon’s predictions become reality, there won’t be many Republicans left in the House after 2026

[Chip Clark @Chipotle]

@roddreher Evidently your opinion of this debate depends on whether you were wearing red or blue tinted glasses

[Chip Clark @Chipotle]

@megynkelly Two things are clear:
1. MK knows her audience
2. She won't say anything that makes them angry

[Chip Clark @Chipotle]

I probably deserve the verbal tongue lashing, but just to clarify my pronouns are he, him.

[Trent Attyah @BookitWithTrent]

Just wanna say fuck Chipotle. They fell off so hard and makes me feel like shit every time.