chloe

[chloe @chloemoredumb]

just realized I could be this crazy when I’m a grandma too!!!! ehhhheee that is kind of exciting

[Handsome B. Charming @CTachio83984]

when i invited you over to swim i was not aware of the level of bacteria in my pool and i hope you regain your eyesight

[chloe @chloemoredumb]

really hard to convince myself everyone isn’t staring at me because I’m ugly when I walk down the street and everyone’s staring at me because I’m ugly

[chloe @chloemoredumb]

wikihowing how to stop picking my scabs every two hours and bleeding everywhere

[chloe @chloemoredumb]

on reddit upvoting everything in sight

[chloe @chloemoredumb]

ten minutes before a hot yoga class and a big poop is getting ready in my belly WHAT DO I DO

[chloe @chloemoredumb]

never really see girls with bangs doing anything maybe because bangs are very limiting

[chloe @chloemoredumb]

hot yoga on my period I have an indomitable spirit don’t try me

[chloe @chloemoredumb]

growing up is realizing that being hungry does actually make me grumpy

[chloe @chloemoredumb]

recommitting to being an adult by wearing my retainer for the first time in two months

[chloe @chloemoredumb]

drunk texting your ex at two am isn’t ‘cringe’ or ‘embarrassing’ it means my soul is full of love and whimsy…right??

[chloe @chloemoredumb]

constantly asking those around me to have some decorum. they never do.

[chloe @chloemoredumb]

do NOT even fucking tell me what a labubu is

[chloe @chloemoredumb]

normalize staying at home if you have a resting bitch face

[chloe @chloemoredumb]

opting out of social gatherings by announcing i have some reading to catch up on. very classy

[chloe @chloemoredumb]

@RegalStevel more like gyno tru k

[chloe @chloemoredumb]

writing a cover letter for a minimum wage job literally feels like sucking and gargling on ass. I am so embarrassed

[chloe @chloemoredumb]

gesturing at the traffic and shrugging to the guy next to me to build camaraderie on the roads