𝕮𝖍𝖑ó 🌜🕊☁️

♀ / 23 / ; / ♋︎ ♊︎ ♉︎ / a chaotic mess

[𝕮𝖍𝖑ó 🌜🕊☁️ @chlohodg]

To think this time last year I attempted to take my own life but a year later I’m putting a deposit down for my own flat…she deserves a long ass hug and well done pat on the back, I know it’s been hard ❤️‍🩹

(A lil sneak peak😉)

[𝕮𝖍𝖑ó 🌜🕊☁️ @chlohodg]

I leave for London again tomorrow morning and I have to go knowing the most important person in my life isn’t speaking to me. I’m so excited if you can’t tell

[𝕮𝖍𝖑ó 🌜🕊☁️ @chlohodg]

Yelling at me straight after the funeral and telling me you wanna cut all ties. Cheers.

[𝕮𝖍𝖑ó 🌜🕊☁️ @chlohodg]

I am so sick and tired of everyone else’s fucking shit being my issue. Fuck off. Yours and mums shit is not my fucking issue and I won’t take the shit anymore.

[𝕮𝖍𝖑ó 🌜🕊☁️ @chlohodg]

Food is fuel, I just don’t want to look at pictures of myself and want to instantly cry.

[𝕮𝖍𝖑ó 🌜🕊☁️ @chlohodg]

Eating disorders are no joke. I’m so sick of fighting my brain everytime I put weight on. I know no matter my size, I’ll never be happy, but my god the guilt of being bigger than I know I’ve been in a while…it’s exhausting.

[𝕮𝖍𝖑ó 🌜🕊☁️ @chlohodg]

Best decision I ever made! London, please be a blessing 🇬🇧

[𝕮𝖍𝖑ó 🌜🕊☁️ @chlohodg]

How am I supposed to pack whilst grieving? I can’t do it tomorrow because I’m going tomorrow 🤡 fml

[𝕮𝖍𝖑ó 🌜🕊☁️ @chlohodg]

Rest easy my angel. I love you nan. I’m in pieces 💔

[𝕮𝖍𝖑ó 🌜🕊☁️ @chlohodg]

Sleep lately. It’s all over the place. Between nan and London and everything else. A recipe for anxiety and sleep deprivation

[𝕮𝖍𝖑ó 🌜🕊☁️ @chlohodg]

Although my brain is overstimulated with other things lately, I’ve still come home today after 2 weeks away and done two loads of laundry and cooked food 🫶🏼 sometimes it’s the small things in life that we should be proud about!

[𝕮𝖍𝖑ó 🌜🕊☁️ @chlohodg]

On the bright side - staying at nans with mum = having a chance to grab nans old jumpers so I can make a blanket to remember her by 💜 this still all feels like a bad dream.

[𝕮𝖍𝖑ó 🌜🕊☁️ @chlohodg]

Why does everyone snore. My god

[𝕮𝖍𝖑ó 🌜🕊☁️ @chlohodg]

Thinking about a world without you in it, it breaks my heart.

[𝕮𝖍𝖑ó 🌜🕊☁️ @chlohodg]

Masking my hurt heart with tulips coz they’re pretty and I needed a pick me up 🌷

[𝕮𝖍𝖑ó 🌜🕊☁️ @chlohodg]

Really I’m just a granddaughter trying to keep it together until goodbye meets forever. Until then, we keep fighting for each day.

[𝕮𝖍𝖑ó 🌜🕊☁️ @chlohodg]

So my nan is dying of cancer…what hurts most is that I know she won’t make it to my next birthday…we’ll never spend another new year together, she’ll won’t be at my wedding or watch her future potential grandkids grow up. My heart aches. I’m not ready to say goodbye Wednesday💔

[︎ ︎ @gIoomyweather]

fave weather.

[ᅠ @artindetails]

pink skies

[𝕮𝖍𝖑ó 🌜🕊☁️ @chlohodg]

Am hungry. I have nothing interesting in the house and I’m fuming 🥱

[𝕮𝖍𝖑ó 🌜🕊☁️ @chlohodg]

My biggest achievement is being given the pleasure of being your godmother - watching you grow from heart surgery at 2 days old, to a beautiful, brave, sassy little mare! Vi, you are my world 💜