chloe schneider

zoloft, spotify premium with hulu (comedian, writer, actor)

[F @fvckoluwafemi]

“2026 is going to be my year”

Wednesday, September 23:

[tess is constantly realizing things @t3ss1001101]

Huge day for girls with boyfriends

[Spencer Althouse @SpencerAlthouse]

at least once a week I think about the time Amy Poehler convinced her fellow Emmy nominees to pretend they were in a beauty pageant when their names were called, and every celeb in the audience went wildddd

their names were supposed to be announced alphabetically, but Edie Falco was too nervous to go first, so Amy took the lead. Tina Fey had a baby 12 days beforehand and said she was "just happy to be out, wearing a pad on every part of my body."

Rob Lowe improvised a line about how "everyone was a winner," and then he crowned Melissa McCarthy with her first Emmy (and a literal tiara), to which she said, "Wow, it's my first and best pageant ever!" award shows in 2011 were so fun lol

[Enjoy The Music @EnjoyTheMusic9]

Noah Kahan performed during In Memoriam
#Emmys

[𝓔𝓶 ♡ @emkenobi]

You spent 9/11 watching porn bro

[hasanabi @hasanthehun]

okay.

[CNN @CNN]

NYC Mayor Mamdani releases previously undisclosed 9/11 records showing officials misled the public about Ground Zero air quality following the attacks https://t.co/ovzoFGZQWO

[chloe schneider @chloschlo]

@sadreturns idk i feel like if i shoved my fingers down a girls throat multiple times to “initiate” despite being told no a ton, id feel a little more than “slightly awkward”

[king kunda @vctrknda]

I said “that can’t be right” when my card declined but I knew I had no money

[mac @MacDoesIt]

At this point I’m as old as the Titanic

[dave 🦚 @davynathos]

Io quando scrivo “in allegato” ma invio senza allegato

[chris oldman © @AlsikkanTV]

teenage coughing and wheezing at camp my asthma

[chloe schneider @chloschlo]

@vampirech3rry happy bdayyy

[Faye @Faye_lucy0]

“Men are providers” yeah, of mental ilłness.

[kat @yslnadi]

from kissing like this to becoming complete strangers is one thing adulthood didn’t prepare me for

[Jared Shult @jared_shult]

It’s almost like hiring unqualified people is a bad idea

[Alex Cole @acnewsitics]

Hey @libsoftiktok found one for you.

[Noah Kahan Archive @KahanArchive]

Lowkey one of the most depressing albums of all time