Christopher Robin

Famous unicorn molester, expert procrastinator, nihilist.

[Christopher Robin @chris_robin79]

@kristenstark234 @CarlosGarbiras It's called an everlasting gobstopper, and you shut the whole fuck up.

[Christopher Robin @chris_robin79]

@KevinAlexander It's pretty ridiculous

[Christopher Robin @chris_robin79]

Too much Taco Bell again?

[Christopher Robin @chris_robin79]

@kristenstark234

[Christopher Robin @chris_robin79]

@kristenstark234 @CarlosGarbiras I am more of a deadbeat than that piece of shit.

[Christopher Robin @chris_robin79]

Wtf are you looking at?

[Christopher Robin @chris_robin79]

I'm still not sure what to use any social media for since I'm not really selling anything. So here's this...

[Christopher Robin @chris_robin79]

Alright, stop. Collaborate and listen. Apparently this haircut is back for a new generation.
Something... grabs a hold of me tightly.
Flows like lightning through my aging, uh, ticker.

[Christopher Robin @chris_robin79]

@gabyfilmmaker I've been wondering lately how much all things adds to my life. The answer is not much.

[Christopher Robin @chris_robin79]

@CarlosGarbiras Not your best joke.

Stick to working with balls.

[Christopher Robin @chris_robin79]

I decided to reengage on Twitter, and the algorithm told me to interact with more posts to prove I'm not a robot.

Your mama was a snowblower.

[Christopher Robin @chris_robin79]

@kristenstark234 There's still nothing else like it.

Fuck.

[Christopher Robin @chris_robin79]

@Davemconte Keep up the good work

[Christopher Robin @chris_robin79]

I spent my Friday pretending my cat was Godzilla. Very happy with the result.

[Christopher Robin @chris_robin79]

When my kids get a little out of control, I tell them they're "getting crazy with the Cheez Whiz". They look at me like I'm insane, and I realize that song is 30 years old.

[Christopher Robin @chris_robin79]

I Phoned A Friend During my Vasectomy https://t.co/cB7y5gxFuB
@CarlosGarbiras