Chris Bell

I’m on mute

[Chris Bell @chrisbell]

If players didn't cheat there'd be no need for a referee

[Chris Bell @chrisbell]

@KatePinkSmith Happy Holidays!

[Chris Bell @chrisbell]

Already had new Little Simz. If we get some noname and (please, please, please lord) Sammus then 2023 is going to be a. o. k.

[Chris Bell @chrisbell]

It’s really hard to showbiz up darts players names, but I’m totally here for it #thedarts

[Chris Bell @chrisbell]

🎼 Oh well I wish it could be Bin Day
Ev’ry day-ay-ay 🎶
#binday

[Chris Bell @chrisbell]

Well, the lad’s stepped up and given that a proper Waddle

[Chris Bell @chrisbell]

Before we laugh too hard at Ronaldo let’s all just take a moment to remember ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!

[Chris Bell @chrisbell]

FIFA have really gone too far

[Chris Bell @chrisbell]

The moral of the story is never, ever, ever, ever talk to Piers Morgan

[Chris Bell @chrisbell]

One of the unexpected benefits of moving to Canada is getting to watch Killer doing football explaining

[Chris Bell @chrisbell]

I have, on these pages, suggested kickstarter ideas for quantum-entangled tupperware and dog poo bags that are already inside-out, so please believe me when I say that this is the worst (best?) idea for a business ever

[Chris Bell @chrisbell]

Reader, I was almost right…

[Chris Bell @chrisbell]

“before I wrote my first rap I learned to be totally silent” - more people should do this. Plus also and they should definitely have “the Light Emitting Diamond Cutter Scriptures” playing on repeat. Feeling that my Spotify Wrapped for 2022 is going to be 96% @yomilo

[Chris Bell @chrisbell]

This is what happens when your Spotify account is the default vehicle for dispersing music into the family’s shared living areas

[Chris Bell @chrisbell]

Well, who had a Rashford Thunderbastard on their 2022 bingo card?

[Chris Bell @chrisbell]

@Pockless @dallasgoldtooth See? You totally get this thing

[Chris Bell @chrisbell]

@dallasgoldtooth Here? My people are @Pockless Nobody else gets me or this thing

[Chris Bell @chrisbell]

In my twenties I was a sex symbol. These days I’m just a gender identifier

[Chris Bell @chrisbell]

“Why don’t we make a world were kids don’t have to “come out” to their parents, friends or family about sexuality or gender?”

[Chris Bell @chrisbell]

Me, in a bus full of stolen Italian gold heading across the Alps that spins out of control and balance’s precariously over a thousand yard drop;
“Hang on, lads. I’ve got an idea...

[Chris Bell @chrisbell]

@chaedria Thanks to both of you for letting me look upon the face of pure wisdom

[Chris Bell @chrisbell]

Shouting…