ChrisBobertz

#standup #comedy
For Bookings: check with my wife first.
*Voted Chico, Ca 15' 16' Best Local #Comedian
*I have reliable transportation.

[ChrisBobertz @chrisbobertz]

Can you guys make me a famous comedian already so I can pay some kid to pick up the dog poop?

That or I get a 2nd job picking up dog poop..

[ChrisBobertz @chrisbobertz]

It just took him that long to finish reading the questions.

[Kyle Griffin @kylegriffin1]

Donald Trump finished third among potential GOP presidential candidates in a Deseret News poll of Utah voters, behind Ron DeSantis and… Liz Cheney.

[ChrisBobertz @chrisbobertz]

I quit the gym!

But only to go to a different gym. 🤣 https://t.co/5HAcFIDuFP

[ChrisBobertz @chrisbobertz]

We've got to stop trying these vegan options at new restaurants...
...I end up making them at home.

Tofu Banh Mi:
Marinated tofu, pickled carrots, cucumbers, a vegan Banh Mi aioli(?), jalepenos, cilantro, and sweet chili sauce on ciabbata.

9/10 - would eat again

[ChrisBobertz @chrisbobertz]

This little soldier in our yard. 💪

[ChrisBobertz @chrisbobertz]

Walked out from Bart through the tunnel and this guy was playing Star Wars theme music on the accordian.

Pretty good way to start the day.

[ChrisBobertz @chrisbobertz]

*Driving home from a quick lunch run*

Kids are in the back of the car chatting and laughing. I look back and kids' feet are up on the center console...

Me: Hey! Put your feet down please!

*Puts feet down

Kiddo: lol, we forgot you were even here!

Me: ...

[ChrisBobertz @chrisbobertz]

Hello Branch! https://t.co/PiDoQwdNTN

[ChrisBobertz @chrisbobertz]

Never got around to posting these. Made some "gingerbread" houses this lady weekend. Not sure if Rowan used more frosting to build with or to eat!

I came back to the outhouse I built and it was missing pieces!🎄❄️🎁

[ChrisBobertz @chrisbobertz]

MOST grateful for you, I am.
You do all the things for us...sometimes I'd say too much, and I'll never not appreciate you. https://t.co/g2smz8a7Si

[ChrisBobertz @chrisbobertz]

We've made it!

Eggs, hold the bad guys! https://t.co/hIDeDQ0WCl

[ChrisBobertz @chrisbobertz]

🎄My one piece of yearly advice! 🎄 https://t.co/qz0FzRfka1

[ChrisBobertz @chrisbobertz]

To My Friends that ask where they can get some of my wife's amazing products:

Lip Balms, Salves, TEAs!, Shower steamers ❄️

Where: Sunol Glen Elementary

When: Friday the 13th!
3pm to 7pm

Get them 🎁 for under the 🎄!! https://t.co/G7Zmk0YT8W

[ChrisBobertz @chrisbobertz]

Only cause I'm the smallest amount of proud of my work. Corn chowder in bread bowls, plate of veggies for dipping with ranch/hummus (which the kids devoured!), and apple cider with with whip!

#yeahitsallvegan

[ChrisBobertz @chrisbobertz]

3 marker challenge with Rowan and he knowingly let puts this dried out marker in my pile to pick from...

[ChrisBobertz @chrisbobertz]

🤷‍♂️ https://t.co/TSI9NXNIEs

[ChrisBobertz @chrisbobertz]

Aaron has always been very popular. https://t.co/JpGcHnO7Qr

[ChrisBobertz @chrisbobertz]

One of my favorite things while working for a tech company:

When someone calls a .csv a "CVS" file.

[ChrisBobertz @chrisbobertz]

Kind of ugly. It was a little hard to work with, but made a "Beet" Wellington for dinner. Little scared to try it, but it was super good! ...and the KIDS ATE IT!

[ChrisBobertz @chrisbobertz]

https://t.co/axvTAAF5yM

[ChrisBobertz @chrisbobertz]

On BART, just trying to get to work and not get stabbed. 🤞