Chris Ford

Peace, and Humptiness forever.

[Chris Ford @chrisford]

Life pro tip: The moment you arrive at the airport, mobile order your coffee to the @starbucks by the gate. Then walk past everyone in line like the boss you are. H/T @christinacober

[Chris Ford @chrisford]

Got to get to Michigan and Alaska. https://t.co/kQNTmKwobn

[Chris Ford @chrisford]

Mil días.

[Chris Ford @chrisford]

Big storm moving through Boston! Here’s the view (looking south) from safe inside the @westincopleyplaceboston #lightning #bostonweather #thunderstorm #copleyplace @marriotthotels @ The Westin Copley Place https://t.co/8rwrL3uiwc

[Chris Ford @chrisford]

America. You know the vibes. #4thofjuly #independenceday #goodr #screwthemetricsystem https://t.co/MqzHPlprBb

[Chris Ford @chrisford]

Biden Harris 2020. https://t.co/OvQH2cc2db

[Chris Ford @chrisford]

No problem staring at the sun this evening considering everything is under a veil of smoke from a fire 184 miles away created by a gender reveal party gone wrong. There is no way my grandkids are ever going to… https://t.co/J1pm4B0S7v

[Chris Ford @chrisford]

I hate how the pandemic brings out the worst in my inner monologue, but a face shield isn’t the same thing as a face mask, asshole.

[Chris Ford @chrisford]

Sure, it may be 111° outside, but the good news is it only feels like 109°. #vegas #accurite #oneteens

[Chris Ford @chrisford]

Perfect backyard mallow for a Memorial Day weekend at home. #smores #solostove #firepit #memorialdayweekend https://t.co/HKaKgeVIi8

[Chris Ford @chrisford]

Jane’s assignment in Art class was “reproduce a famous work of art.” #starrynight #vangogh #facepaint https://t.co/FkQb2ozwBV

[Chris Ford @chrisford]

Today one-time payments of $1,200 went out to 83% of US taxpayers. Yesterday the leader of the party of “countless everyday Americans” stood in front of $20K worth of refrigerators to show off her freezer full of ice cream. “Trying times” indeed. #letthemeaticecream

[Nancy Pelosi @SpeakerPelosi]

We all have found our ways to keep our spirits up during these trying times. Mine just happens to fill up my freezer. #LateLateShow

[Chris Ford @chrisford]

“Thanks for putting a new cord on the taser.” - #covid19 #quarantine #lovenotesfrommywife

[Chris Ford @chrisford]

Shout out to all the people who saved their Joe Exotic condoms and are selling them on eBay now for around $100. #tigerking #joeexotic

[Chris Ford @chrisford]

Day 6 of THE ROCK The Quarantine Film Festival: Fast Five (2011)
THE ROCK loses a fight to Vin Diesel only due to Vin Diesel’s Big Uncle Magic.
Ford Family Rating (0-5): 2.6 Raised Eyebrows
Next: San Andreas
#therock #quarantined #lifeathome

[Chris Ford @chrisford]

Day 5 of THE ROCK The Quarantine Film Festival: Central Intelligence (2016)
THE ROCK and Kevin Hart charm the audience in a hilarious blooper reel during the end credits.
Rating (0-5): 0.75 Raised Eyebrows
Next: Fast Five
#therock #quarantined #lifeathome

[Chris Ford @chrisford]

Day 4 of THE ROCK The Quarantine Film Festival: Baywatch (2017).
The ROCK saves Zac Efron and The Bay from an evil drug-lord hotelier.
Number of guns used by THE ROCK: 0
Rating(0-5): 1.6 Raised Eyebrows
Next: Central Intelligence
#quarantined #therock #lifeathome

[Chris Ford @chrisford]

Day 3 of THE ROCK the Quarantine Film Festival: Skyscraper (2018)
Number of legs The Rock needed to save his family and Hong Kong: 1.5
Ford Family Rating (0-5): 3.6 Raised Eyebrows
Next: Baywatch
#therock #quarantined #lifeathome

[Dr Liam Hackett MBE @LiamHALI]

The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

[Chris Ford @chrisford]

.@clintonpope Seems to me people who are able but don’t vote (or caucus) have already clearly shown they don’t want anything to do with American democracy.