Chris Goering

Go back to Canada, Iowa | they/she/he (any pronouns)

[Chris Goering @chrisgoering]

Only an absolute FOOL would pin a tweet to their profile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ClickHole @ClickHole]

Someone Made A Tribute To Chris Christie Set To The Fray’s ‘Over My Head (Cable Car)’ And It’s Absolutely Perfect

[Cinema Gems @CINEMAGEMS]

I Saw the TV Glow (2024)
dir. Jane Schoenbrun

[Chris Goering @chrisgoering]

I had a dream last night that Nebraska football replaced the typical tunnel walk song with the George Lopez theme song

[Chris Goering @chrisgoering]

I have passed up every one of those “Post ______ or 5 years of bad luck” story stickers on Instagram. I am stockpiling years of bad luck. I’m sitting on three lifetimes of bad luck right now

[LEGO @LEGO_Group]

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[The Barista Bar @baristabar]

test

[abby @sourlittleme]

happy may thy 9th chip and shatter

[Chris Goering @chrisgoering]

@toomuchprotein I voted for Rick and Morty

[Chris Goering @chrisgoering]

Waiter: have you two gotten the chance to look over the menu?
Me: no, I’ve been quoting vines to my wife for the past 10 minutes

[Chris Goering @chrisgoering]

@toomuchprotein I think they forgot to write that down in the rule book

[Chris Goering @chrisgoering]

@sydneypaulak We’re clearly a third half team

[Chris Goering @chrisgoering]

@sydneypaulak We’re just setting up for a truly epic second half comeback

[Chris Goering @chrisgoering]

It’s insane how beautiful life can be

[Cole Adams @coleadamss]

The European mind could not comprehend this image

[fart @weezersredalbum]

telling someone you like weezer unironically

[Chris Goering @chrisgoering]

Just a glimpse through my eyes of this messed up reality of mine

[Chris Goering @chrisgoering]

*Negotiating a deal with me and 49 of my closest friends*
"I see this as a win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win"

[Chris Goering @chrisgoering]

@toomuchprotein I’ve got some good news for you…

[Chris Goering @chrisgoering]

Someone’s life is gonna be made with the nest egg I’m sitting on 🤑

[Chris Goering @chrisgoering]

Trying to decide which one of my beloved family members will get my McDonald’s rewards points when I die