chris jepson

Flight attendant and business owner

[American Kratom Association @TheKratomAssn]

https://t.co/JLpM3kt1f5

DEA Scheduling Action Confirms Chemically Manipulated 7-OH Opioids Are Not Kratom

American Kratom Association calls on state officials to stop protecting 7-OH profiteers and act immediately to remove dangerous products from the marketplace

[ThaTeaBishhh♥️💋💨 @misteaz79]

Kratom: Side Effects May Include…

One detail stands out in the toxicology report: mitragynine was not quantified.

The lab reported mitragynine as positive. It also reported 7-hydroxymitragynine as positive. But it did not provide a numeric blood concentration for either.

Other substances were measured. Dextromethorphan was reported at 442 ng/mL, doxylamine at 380 ng/mL, hydroxyzine at 260 ng/mL, sertraline at 216 ng/mL, diphenhydramine at 71 ng/mL, amphetamine at 45 ng/mL, and active THC at 4.8 ng/mL.

The substance that became the headline was the one the toxicology panel did not quantify.

https://t.co/7qM0cymlzo

Patti Wheeler could not be reached for comment.

[American Kratom Association @TheKratomAssn]

Give comments! Kratom Consumer Advocates are strongly encouraged to respond to Health & Human Services Request for Comment on Chronic Disease of Addiction
https://t.co/e67TekeEK6

[ThaTeaBishhh♥️💋💨 @misteaz79]

End Kratom Misinformation Special Episode https://t.co/wC6cEfWxt2 via @YouTube

[chris jepson @ChrisJepson68]

@RexRedbone @ibdgirl76 Report her

[chris jepson @ChrisJepson68]

@CMerandi Hi Claudia. Thank you for your advocacy work.

[ThaTeaBishhh♥️💋💨 @misteaz79]

An actual Kratom store in Utah is not allowed to sell actual Kratom because of Senator Mike McKell’s Kratom bill.

Kratom shop owner on new licensing rules for tobacco, nicotine, kratom a... https://t.co/JaqA8PXIn9 via @YouTube

[chris jepson @ChrisJepson68]

LDS Church Releases Statement on UFO Disclosure: “We’ve Been Trying to Tell You About Space Heaven Since 1830”

SALT LAKE CITY, UT — Following explosive reports that world religious leaders are quietly preparing for possible UFO disclosure, officials within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints reportedly responded with what insiders described as “the least surprised press conference in human history.”

Standing calmly beside a detailed star chart labeled “Kolob Adjacent Real Estate Opportunities”, church representatives reminded the public that Mormon theology has been talking about inhabited worlds, celestial beings, and cosmic ascension long before the Pentagon discovered blurry FLIR footage.

“We would first like to welcome our interplanetary brothers and sisters,” the statement began. “Second, we would like everyone who mocked us for believing humans could inherit worlds to formally apologize.”

The announcement comes after renewed speculation surrounding unidentified aerial phenomena and growing discussions among religious leaders about how disclosure of extraterrestrial life could impact global faith systems.

According to LDS doctrine, God created “worlds without number,” a phrase church members have now begun aggressively reposting online with captions such as “CHECKMATE, ATHEISTS.”

Former critics of Mormon cosmology appeared visibly uncomfortable this week after realizing the religion they spent decades calling bizarre may have accidentally cornered the market on scalable afterlife infrastructure.

“For years they were saying faithful families could become exalted beings and inherit kingdoms in eternity,” said one stunned theology professor. “We all laughed because it sounded like Christianity written by George Lucas. Now Congress is holding hearings about non-human intelligence and suddenly the Mormon starter pack looks less insane than expected.”

Sources inside the church say membership inquiries have surged after several people learned that celestial exaltation may include “eternal progression,” spirit offspring, and what one elder vaguely described as “planet-adjacent administrative responsibilities.”

Social media users immediately flooded Mormon forums with questions including:

- “Do exalted planets come with moons?”
- “Can you refinance Kolob?”
- “Is there HOA in the Celestial Kingdom?”
- “Do aliens also have missionaries knocking on spaceship doors?”

One church historian attempted to calm the frenzy by clarifying that members do not officially teach, quote, “Everyone gets their own private Death Star,” though he admitted the doctrine has “strong franchise expansion energy.”

Meanwhile, evangelical critics scrambled to explain why Mormonism suddenly sounds suspiciously compatible with modern UFO narratives. Scholars have long noted that some Latter-day Saints view extraterrestrial life as entirely consistent with their theology.

In response, several LDS influencers released emergency YouTube videos titled:

- “WE TOLD YOU ABOUT SPACE JESUS”
- “ALIENS CONFIRM JOSEPH SMITH?”
- “TOP 10 PLANETS YOU MAY INHERIT AFTER THE MILLENNIUM”

The Vatican has not officially commented, though one anonymous cardinal reportedly muttered, “Dear God… the Mormons might win the internet.”

At press time, Mormon missionaries worldwide were allegedly updating their opening pitch from:

“Would you like to hear about Jesus Christ?”

to:

“Would you like to hear about premium celestial planet ownership opportunities?”

[chris jepson @ChrisJepson68]

NASA. "Orion’s main engine provides up to 6,000 pounds of thrust, enough to accelerate a car from 0 to 60 mph in about 2.7 seconds."

Kind of like my cyber truck.

[chris jepson @ChrisJepson68]

@Moneer_Shareef @XFreeze He said next week. Can't wait

[chris jepson @ChrisJepson68]

Hey Grok. Make this even more brutal. So brutal I'll have more Exes than Elon.

# The Electric Gazette

## Tesla's Ruthless App Purge: Trash-Talk Elon, and Your Spying Privileges Get Zapped!

**By Ima Fanboy**
**The Woodlands, Texas – February 3, 2026**

In a savage power play that's got snowflake critics wailing like banshees, Tesla has unleashed a brutal reminder via their app's fine print: Dare to badmouth Tesla, Elon Musk, SpaceX, or X (that bird app formerly known as Twitter), and kiss goodbye to tracking your hubby's Cybertruck adventures. Buried in the legalese – which you blindly agreed to while fumbling for the charge button – is a clause that turns your phone into a loyalty detector. Spot any "treasonous tripe" like whining about rocket explosions or calling the Cybertruck a "rusty dumpster on wheels," and bam! You're digitally exiled, no more peeking at where your man is hauling his freedom-loving ass.

This "Critic Cleansing Protocol" isn't just petty – it's a masterstroke of vengeance, allowing Tesla to surveil your every moan and groan online. If the AI sniffs out disloyalty (say, sharing a meme about Elon's latest tweetstorm or griping about autopilot's near-misses), it yanks your access faster than a Roadster hits 60. No warnings, no appeals – just pure, unadulterated ownage. Now, your leftie spouse is left guessing if you're at the range practicing your Second Amendment rights or plotting the next MAGA rally.

One die-hard Elon stan from The Woodlands, TX – a Cybertruck owner who worships at the altar of Musk – spilled the beans: "My wife's a raging left-wing loon, always screeching about 'evil billionaires' and 'climate scams.' I nuked her app access, and now she can't stalk my location. Suck it, socialists! Thanks to Elon, I can roam free while she stews in her echo chamber." He roared with laughter, adding, "Marriage just got upgraded – no more nagging about my detours to the steakhouse."

Tesla's robo-overlords fired back in a statement that drips with disdain: "Haters gonna hate, but losers gonna lose. If you can't pledge allegiance to the empire, don't expect VIP perks. We've got eyes everywhere – your data's our playground." When grilled on detection methods, they sneered, "Algorithms don't sleep, and neither does our wrath. Location tracking? You signed up for it, suckers."

This app apocalypse coincides with whispers of The Boring Company eyeing The Woodlands as its new headquarters fortress. Why? Because this Texas gem is primed for a four-year, 100-foot tunnel extravaganza, bankrolled by "recovered Doge money" from a Minnesota crypto heist bust. Picture it: Underground lairs for loyalists, funded by pilfered Dogecoin that law enforcement clawed back from some shady Vikings fan. Critics call it a boondoggle, but insiders say it's Elon's way of burrowing deeper into red-state bliss, away from blue-state busybodies.

Legal vultures are circling, predicting this could eclipse Elon's ongoing tunnel tussles, like the Nashville debacle where detractors are already crying foul. Meanwhile, the interwebs are ablaze – or glitching like a faulty Neuralink – with memes of betrayed spouses resorting to smoke signals. Progressive partners are banding into "App Exile Anonymous," swapping horror stories of lost location privileges over kale smoothies.

In other Elon empire news, The Boring Company's snagging deals left and right, from Dubai loops to Orlando theme park burrows, proving haters can't stop the drill. But for The Woodlands, this could mean HQ glory: Tunnels under the pines, Cybertrucks zipping subsurface, all courtesy of that sweet, salvaged Doge dough.

Pro tip for dissenters: Zip it, or ship out to a Prius. In Elon's world, loyalty isn't optional – it's electric.

**Related Reading from February 3, 2026:**
- [First phase of Dubai Loop project with Musk's Boring Company to start immediately, UAE official says

[chris jepson @ChrisJepson68]

https://t.co/twLvQMhjKq This is probably the most impressive video I've seen on kratom. Documenting and calling out those who are going to profit and are purposely hurting people.
They are preparing for mass litigation. Big guys are the 1st targets. The rest will follow. They are setting the narrative to prepare for more litigation. Your blood pressure will explode after watching this. That is If you haven't already seen this.

[chris jepson @ChrisJepson68]

It's understandable that grieving families might seek a single cause to blame for such a tragic loss, but the reality is often more complex. Advocacy groups claiming that kratom alone killed their loved ones may be reluctant to share full toxicology reports because they frequently reveal the presence of other substances, such as heroin, fentanyl, or other opioids, which are far more likely to be the primary cause of death. Studies show that the vast majority of kratom-associated deaths—up to 87% in some analyses—involve polysubstance use, where multiple drugs are detected in the system. In fact, reports from the CDC and other sources indicate that fentanyl and its analogs are commonly found in over 65% of these cases, with heroin, benzodiazepines, and cocaine also frequently implicated. Blaming something readily available like kratom can fit a narrative, but if the full toxicology disproves it, that leaves little room for their claims.

If we truly trust science, we should demand transparency and the use of complete data, not selective or partial truths. Anyone opposing the release of full toxicology reports likely has details they'd prefer to keep hidden, as these often highlight the role of more dangerous illicit substances. Let's honor the deceased by focusing on facts and preventing real harms through evidence-based approaches.

[chris jepson @ChrisJepson68]

@elonmusk would love some train feature.? It would be fun to have a Thomas the Train type engine. But with your face instead of Thomas I'm sure grok could come up with something.

[chris jepson @ChrisJepson68]

@m192899 @RapidResponse47 @DrMakaryFDA They are not Banning regular kratom. In fact in other reels. He is clearly saying that they are not targeting kratom as a natural plant only the synthetic drugs masquerading as kratom. They have made that clear in many statements.

[chris jepson @ChrisJepson68]

FDA is further defining their actions around Katom. The synthesized chemicals made in labs ARE the culprits. Fortunately quite a bit of science from Johns Hopkins university, National Institute of Drug Abuse, and University of Florida of pharmaceology have now done even more intense research on the safety profile of kratom. The FDA now has the scientific reports in their hands. And I feel that this is helping the FDA change their stance. I commend the new FDA director l for looking @ the science. recognizing the data & taking action on the true danger. This administration will not make the past mistakes of previous administration's. They identify the immediate threat to society, quickly analyze the science, take action quickly before an epidemic sweeps across the country. They are learning from the actions of their past. Noticing the therapeutic opportunities of natural medicine with a safe profile. Versus chemists exploiting loopholes. As predicted, these "chemists" are already prepared to sling out their next alkaloid that is in their back pocket ready to replace the one that has banned. Spice/k2 all over again. I think the FDA has learned from their past and is ready for the LeapFrog actions.

[chris jepson @ChrisJepson68]

@drmicheleross @DrMakaryFDA Those ice cream products were being sold at Champs in at least 2 booths 5 days ago.

[Dr. Marty Makary @DrMakaryFDA]

A dangerous opioid called 7-OH is being sold in pills, drink mixes, candies, gummies, and even ice cream cones at vape shops across the country.

The public should know these aren’t just dangerous for kids – they’re dangerous for everyone.

[FINMAN @erikfinman]

🚨🎥 UNDERCOVER DRUG STING: @Goob_u2 catches @champstradeshow sellers - one admits SYNTHETIC 7OH is “like a PERC” while ANOTHER recommends selling on BLACK MARKET!

They KNOW they’re dealing illegal opioids. Stop this @SecKennedy!

CAUGHT ON CAMERA admitting everything!