ᶜ ᵐ ʲ

usn ⚓️

[ᶜ ᵐ ʲ @chrissyjumper]

I’ll say it now and forever, FUCK CANCER!!! LOOK at how fucking beautiful she was!!!!!! The most incredible person deserved SO much better https://t.co/Cfyy4NOs3N

[colleen @colleengatusky]

Luv Virginia Beach

[Ben Schwartz @rejectedjokes]

What started as a gag birthday gift from my sister has turned into my greatest treasure.

[Don Carlo 🇭🇹 @Carlwinshigh]

Niggas learned how to fire bend after what 6 days of Quarantine? https://t.co/GTImF0AM1Z

[Kikidoodle & Purrmaids @KikiDoodleTweet]

As a person who's worked from home with their partner for 6+ years the WEIRDEST take I'm seeing right now is "I love my spouse but hahaa I cant stand spending time with them during a quarantine lol ya get me?" And all the replies agreeing

[MORALLY FLEXIBLE @EchoXray4]

Tell them stay closed

[Havilland $avage. @ToiMeetsWorld]

the party. the job. the relationship.

[marnie the dog @MarnieTheDog]

RIP Marnie, beloved internet dog and bearer of positive vibes for people the world over https://t.co/IOrQiPcn4Y

[hec @thebootycreator]

took my pregnant girlfriend to our friends' new bar last night & y'all should've seen the smile she had as she sat there with her virgin drinks gossiping w her girls

she goes "we're getting wild tonight!!" & slammed a shirley temple

this is the woman i'm going to marry

[Prettylinda Gorgeousana @ParamourEternal]

men close ur eyes this isn’t for you

[POPPY O @poppy_ohsoo]

I hate when a mf say “it’s a quarter til 9”

Bitch just say it’s 8:75, damn 🙄

[Kelsey @notorious_KRG]

When ppl start freaking out cause I hit a couple of curbs while driving

[Kerry Boye @kerryboye]

Overheard in court, probably: “I don’t think my father, the inventor of hot pockets, would be too pleased to hear about this”

[erin ♡ @erinmhk]

The little slap omg 🥺

[Keefler @Keefler_Elf]

i’m getting my wisdom teeth taken out on monday. i know most people get this procedure done when they’re like 16 but i think the move is waiting to do it when you’re 25 and depressed cause then you can appreciate the drugs a lot more

[prance @bocxtop]

still not over when my friend, who is in an interracial relationship, went public with it on Facebook and the first comment was from our 4th grade teacher saying “aww I always knew you were cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!!” lord please remove the south from the rest of the country