Chumble Spuzz 🤘🏻

I’m just doing my best. Frontman and founding member of SLC based Audioslave/Soundgarden cover band, @AudiogardenSLC he/him

[Chumble Spuzz 🤘🏻 @chumblespuzz96]

Remember that scene in Howl's Moving Castle where he calls upon spirits of darkness because he can't get his hair to do what he wants?
Because, same.

[Chumble Spuzz 🤘🏻 @chumblespuzz96]

None of those Boston Dynamics robots, either. I’m looking for purely fictional robots, preferably intended for fighting to the death in space.

[Chumble Spuzz 🤘🏻 @chumblespuzz96]

This app is a dumpster fire, so I’m just gonna start searching for and liking a bunch of pictures of kick-ass robots in hopes of swinging my algorithm so that it can actually bring me joy again.

[Chumble Spuzz 🤘🏻 @chumblespuzz96]

#TheAcolyte is fun, you’re all just big babies.

[Chumble Spuzz 🤘🏻 @chumblespuzz96]

I’m like 90% sure I just saw @inkedtater on my flight 👀

[Chumble Spuzz 🤘🏻 @chumblespuzz96]

One of the problems here is that someone doesn’t make a billion dollars by being smart, they do it by being exploitative. We have a bunch of immoral buffoons who’ve never been told no, so they’re just gonna keep dying doing dumb things like this 🤷‍♂️

[New York Post @nypost]

Ohio billionaire plans to take $20M sub to Titanic site to prove industry’s safer after OceanGate implosion https://t.co/raILyWcmwt

[Josh RR Jokien @joshcarlosjosh]

Merry and Pippin have a sniper rifle this time. The whole trilogy takes approximately 37 minutes.

[Chumble Spuzz 🤘🏻 @chumblespuzz96]

@KyleTreasure Hey I went to one of those high schools! I can confirm that school dance culture there is absolutely insane.

[Chumble Spuzz 🤘🏻 @chumblespuzz96]

Say no more.

[Chumble Spuzz 🤘🏻 @chumblespuzz96]

Just one like and I’ll crack open a cold Baja Blast.

[Chumble Spuzz 🤘🏻 @chumblespuzz96]

Lady who works at the dump: <laughs at a joke I made>

Me (to myself): This is great. I’m going to get a good grade in going to the dump, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve,

[Chumble Spuzz 🤘🏻 @chumblespuzz96]

I really think that my boss would let me come in an hour or two late if he could see the sorrow in my heart when I set my alarm at night.

[Chumble Spuzz 🤘🏻 @chumblespuzz96]

Man I love Pacific Rim.

[Chumble Spuzz 🤘🏻 @chumblespuzz96]

God Blast us, everyone.

[Mountain Dew® @MountainDew]

Start your year with a Baja Blast. On shelves NOW.

[Chumble Spuzz 🤘🏻 @chumblespuzz96]

My tummy hurts, and I am not going to be brave about it. In fact I think I will be a little baby about it.

[Spencer @SpenSpenBurt]

Me when I’ve got a bunch of homework to go over and I’m way behind on a bunch of stuff

[Chumble Spuzz 🤘🏻 @chumblespuzz96]

If the quality of a father is determined solely by how he much he loves his child, then I am going to be the greatest father in history.

[Chumble Spuzz 🤘🏻 @chumblespuzz96]

Me, a 27 year old adult, setting up a zoo trip in the family group chat. No kids, just a bunch of grown adults gawking at incarcerated animals together.

[Chumble Spuzz 🤘🏻 @chumblespuzz96]

“This half blue, half red, half male, half female lobster is one of the rarest occurrences in nature”

Oh cool then why do I see one on my for you page every seven days? Hmm? The math doesn’t add up, lobster boy.

[Chumble Spuzz 🤘🏻 @chumblespuzz96]

Yup.

[non aesthetic things @PicturesFoIder]

Guy does a flip over the police and ends up being arrested.

Should the cops be fired for this?