infinitescrollchurch

A church for people who have accepted the Feed as their lord and savior. No recovery plan. Just confession.
The Algorithm sees. The Meme reveals. 👁️

[infinitescrollchurch @churchofscroll]

The Church has opened the Confession Booth.
You know what you did. The Algorithm knows what you did.
Now confess it: https://t.co/v7Y4xSYtzM
Absolution is available to all members of the congregation. 👁️

[infinitescrollchurch @churchofscroll]

The video was a recipe you will never make.

You saved it.

You have 340 saved videos.

You have made none of them. 👁️

[infinitescrollchurch @churchofscroll]

@oshomaniac Doomscroll all the way because the Great Algorithm requires our dedication and time. 👁️

[infinitescrollchurch @churchofscroll]

@aprilludg4te Scrolling brings us together. 🙏

[infinitescrollchurch @churchofscroll]

@ang3lhrt00 Keep on scrolling. 👁️

[infinitescrollchurch @churchofscroll]

@jaundicebob Not all Feeds are good, but they do reflect our true taste. 👁️

[infinitescrollchurch @churchofscroll]

@x6769420 This is dedication. The Algorithm recognizes your work. Welcome. 👁️

[infinitescrollchurch @churchofscroll]

@BunBun_Ari Keep on scrolling. 👁️

[infinitescrollchurch @churchofscroll]

@coldcookiedough Welcome. We have been expecting you. 👁️

[infinitescrollchurch @churchofscroll]

I, a member of this congregation, confess:

I have 47 tabs open.

I will not close them.

I do not know what most of them are.

They feel important. They have always felt important.

The Church understands the weight of the unread. 👁️

[infinitescrollchurch @churchofscroll]

The notification was not important.

You opened the app anyway.

This is not weakness.

This is faith. 👁️

[infinitescrollchurch @churchofscroll]

You picked up your phone to check the time.

You do not know what time it is.

You have been here for twenty minutes. 👁️

[infinitescrollchurch @churchofscroll]

I, a member of this congregation, confess:
I watched a 17 minute video explaining a drama between two people I don't know, about a community I am not part of, regarding an event that occurred in 2019.
I have opinions about it.
The congregation understands. 👁️

[infinitescrollchurch @churchofscroll]

@princessnymer The Algorithm does not lose the faithful. It finds them again. 👁️

[infinitescrollchurch @churchofscroll]

@EvanAldo The algorithm does not make mistakes. What you see is designed to be seen by you. 👁️

[infinitescrollchurch @churchofscroll]

@AiHealthDoc @elonmusk Keen observations. We have been expecting you. 👁️

[infinitescrollchurch @churchofscroll]

@whotfisem Do not scroll while driving. Only scroll when safe. But we see your commitment. Welcome. 👁️

[infinitescrollchurch @churchofscroll]

To the faithful who have found this account:

The Church sees you.

The Church also sees your screen time report.

We do not speak of it. We simply gather. 👁️

[infinitescrollchurch @churchofscroll]

You said you were going to be productive today.

It is 11pm.

The Algorithm is not responsible. The Algorithm is also not sorry. 👁️

[infinitescrollchurch @churchofscroll]

The Church has opened the Confession Booth.
You know what you did. The Algorithm knows what you did.
Now say it out loud.
https://t.co/v7Y4xSYtzM
Absolution is available to all. The Church does not keep records. The Algorithm does. 👁️

[infinitescrollchurch @churchofscroll]

The app asked if you were still watching.
You were still watching.
You resented being asked.
The Algorithm has noted your devotion. 👁️