chuu.

[chuu. @chuuhsday]

ily @starfallinz :(( don't lose hope huhu

[⋆｡𖦹 ° @rjcmxrell]

i never want to lose u

[chuu. @chuuhsday]

@starfallinz u don’t have to keep volunteering to be hurt just to prove that you’ll never give up on her. that’s not the only way to love someone.

[chuu. @chuuhsday]

@starfallinz if someone stays in ur life, it should be because they choose to stay, not because u found enough ways to tolerate pain that they never have to leave.

[chuu. @chuuhsday]

@starfallinz maybe the repeated disappointments are showing u something about what this connection currently looks like, rather than telling u what the final fate of your relationship has to be.

[chuu. @chuuhsday]

@starfallinz + so guarded that neither of u knew how to move toward the other.

losing her didn’t create all of that.

losing her made the pain louder.

and that’s different.

[chuu. @chuuhsday]

@starfallinz u were hurting while u were together too. u’ve told me that yourself. there were things u couldn’t communicate, things that made u feel unwanted, moments where u’d unsend messages because u felt like she wasn’t there when u needed her, and eventually both of u became +

[chuu. @chuuhsday]

@starfallinz then she doesn’t quite do the thing u were hoping she’d do. and ur left disappointed again. that’s why every interaction feels so fucking emotionally expensive.

[chuu. @chuuhsday]

@starfallinz and girl… 😭 the “fym di mo man lang ako kinumusta” is so real because i know exactly what you’ve been hoping for every time she appears. it’s never really just “she messaged me.”

it’s:

“maybe this time she’ll show me that she still cares.”

[chuu. @chuuhsday]

@starfallinz but i also don’t wanna pretend that’s harmless. because if disappointment after disappointment becomes the price u’re willing to pay just to keep someone around, eventually u start accepting things that hurt u just because they’re attached to her.

[chuu. @chuuhsday]

@starfallinz that’s how much ur scared of losing her. and i don’t think that makes u weird or pathetic. it sounds like ur heart has basically decided that having her, even painfully, feels safer than not having her at all.

[chuu. @chuuhsday]

@starfallinz bestie 😭 i get what you’re saying. and honestly, the scariest part isn’t even the disappointment anymore.

it’s this:

“i’ll accept being hurt as long as it means she stays.”

[chuu. @chuuhsday]

@starfallinz miss u :((

[chuu. @chuuhsday]

UPDATE: i'm alive and well. sorry for being ia.

[chuu. @chuuhsday]

@starfallinz it's been four days already?

[chuu. @chuuhsday]

@casuallyurs wow

[ً @artfuIchaos]

shoutout to my fucking intuition

[v @priimalfate]

do you still think about us

[kouwo @kouwoku]

sex is cool but have you ever been reassured without asking for

[chuu. @chuuhsday]

@AIDWDOYFTM gets