normalize being consumed by fear and guilt and shame and hate and fear and guilt and shame and hate and fear and guilt and shame and hate and fear and guilt and shame and hate and fear and guilt and shame and hate and fear and guilt and shame and hate and fear and shame and guilt
I've always been a crybaby. whenever someone I care about raises their voice or I feel like they’re speaking with disdain, I genuinely start sobbing. especially when it’s my father or my partner. It’s so annoying; I hate being around myself.
I don’t miss them, awful person, really. but i miss that bond. the safety in having your own person that you can always trust and relate to. i’m envious of people who have eternal best friends. i’ll never have another like them and i genuinely hope they’re doing ok.
I prefer more dull pain opposed to a stinging pain. Like I like punching, kicking, and slapping very much and definitely enjoy it. But I like cutting it’s just the sting that gets to me sometimes. I think I may be a bit of a masochist honestly but you didn’t hear that from me 👀
the difference in before i was depressed and now is back then i remember i didn’t reply to anybody till 4pm and i woke up to tons of messages of my friends asking if i was okay but now i can go weeks offline, no contact and nobody would gaf
being in love is so weird because wdym i want to cry when you get along with your friends just as well as you get along with me?? but i know you’re mine i don’t deserve to feel this way