Get that insurance. It's not a waste of money.
Health insurance is one thing you shouldn't joke with. The 'blood of Jesus' is a universal insurance but even he that shed the blood expects us to do the right things. That's why he didn't jump off the cliff when he was tempted.
If you really want to change a behavior of yours that you know isn't working for you, speak to yourself kindly. Be validating + understanding. It might feel counterintuitive + it may require practice, but this is more likely to elicit positive change than beating yourself up.