My grandma once told me:
“Fall in love with someone you can talk to for hours, because beauty changes, bodies get tired, but a good conversation can carry a whole life.”
A healthy relationship will challenge you. But instead of the exhaustion from sleepless nights, anxious mornings, and never feeling good enough, you’ll be challenged to communicate. To not sabotage something good because you’re used to instability. To regulate your emotions and show up when you’re not in the mood. Healthy love will challenge you to grow up, emotionally.
In relationships women are reciprocators, not initiators. You lead, she follows. You put in effort, she returns it. You make her feel good, she mirrors it. That’s the only way it works.
My husband’s ex texted him out of nowhere:
“We need to talk. It’s serious.”
He ignored it.
Then she called. Crying. Saying she might be pregnant. Saying she didn’t know who else to call. Saying she was scared.
He put her on speaker immediately.
Now listen… most women would’ve flipped the table right there.
But I said, “If there’s even a 1% chance, we go handle it like adults.”
Because I’m not afraid of the truth.
So we drove to her apartment.
She opened the door in silk pajamas, hair done, smelling like she just stepped out of a photoshoot.
No swollen eyes. No panic.
Just a soft smile.
“I knew you’d come.”
I stood there quietly while he asked,
“Did you take a test?”
She shrugged.
“No… I just wanted to see if you still cared.”
I have never seen a grown man look so disappointed.
Not angry.
Disappointed.
Because there’s nothing attractive about weaponizing motherhood for attention.
We left without arguing.
And that night I learned something:
A secure marriage doesn’t fear tests.
But immature people will create them anyway.
My man said something to me that really stuck.
He told me, “I’m not here to control you. I’m not your dad, I’m your partner. You’re free to make your own choices. Just understand that every choice has consequences. If you choose something that damages what we’ve built, that’s on you.”
He said, “I’ll always tell you when something hurts me or crosses a boundary, because that’s what healthy communication looks like. But if you keep stepping over the line after I’ve shown you where it is, then you were never really protecting us to begin with.”
And honestly, that’s what accountability in a relationship sounds like.
Dear Lord
Today, I’m done stressing over what I can’t control anyway. I release the worry and the need to know every detail. If it’s a test, help me pass it without spiraling. Calm my mind when it starts running ahead of me. Teach me to trust You without overthinking it. Handle what I can’t see and steady me while You do. Amen 🙏🏾
Girls, pls fall in love with someone who genuinely wants you, patiently waits for your messages, understands you even in your madness, talks to you after a fight. The right guy sees the mess and moods but still chooses you.