avery

a mouse with an attitude

[avery @chzlord]

“I used to take molly before shows and now I take gasx” guess who

[avery @chzlord]

mixed berry is an abomination of a flavor

[avery @chzlord]

me and jake’s buffalo chicken dip was accidentally given to the people down the bar and they took it??? and now jake is making FRIENDS with them??? he’s truly my better half i was about to start swinging

[avery @chzlord]

i knew i was officially a boring adult when the highlight of my day was getting my personalized mPerks coupons in the mail

[avery @chzlord]

worst thing about working at a place with a pool is every time you go to the bathroom your buttcheeks get wet :/

[avery @chzlord]

saw a license plate that said “milkdew” on my way home today and i’ve been thinking about it ever since

[avery @chzlord]

@Jaketrocious This is slander

[Cardi B @iamcardib]

I’m not as mean as I could be and I want people to be more grateful for that.

[Jenni @hashjenni]

Y’ALL KEEP SAYING DRINK WATER FOR CLEAR SKIN BUT ALL I GET IS PEE!!

[avery @chzlord]

wish cooked broccoli didn’t smell like farts :/

[avery @chzlord]

Jake’s having a rough time with the outcome of this weeks love island dumping

[avery @chzlord]

how did i have a stanley cup in my cart for 2 weeks always seeing the tik tok girlies RAVE about them but the SECOND i spend my money on one all i’m seeing is how much they suck lmfao alright stanley you got me this time

[avery @chzlord]

leash your fuckin dogs! i should not have to wrangle my dog and yours!

[avery @chzlord]

thanks twitter i loved that!

[avery @chzlord]

i will consider anything bigger than a flea a “big bug” and no i will not be more reasonable

[avery @chzlord]

@highnoonsunsips grow up and sell kiwi 4 packs

[avery @chzlord]

apparently it’s “unprofessional” and “kinda gross” to pull out 4 babybel cheeses and eat them all during your year end review