cipheramnesia

I'm just out here living my worst life, trying to be my least authentic self.

[cipheramnesia @cipheramnesia]

No, I'm not tired of being nice, yes I still just wanna go apeshit. These things can coexist, stop asking me.

[cipheramnesia @cipheramnesia]

I'm just a girl boss being gaslit in a gatekeeper world.

[cipheramnesia @cipheramnesia]

I got throated by Nancy Reagan and all I got was a 30 year maximum prison sentence under a federally mandated three strikes policy regardless of how minor the infraction.

[cipheramnesia @cipheramnesia]

Yeah I was like babe I'm pondering my orb and she hands me a bag of fuckin potatoes and she's like bitch how about you ponder washing these orbs off so we can have dinner.

[cipheramnesia @cipheramnesia]

Batman is better off with Jason Voorhees than Jason Todd. At the end of the day what's more useful? An alive murderer who you constantly gotta lose debates over murder related ethics with? Or a 7' tall zombie without ethics, who never talks back, and 100% will murder anything?

[cipheramnesia @cipheramnesia]

I know we have the Bechdel Test but I think we need a newer simpler test which is failed if a movie has a scene in a strip club meant to illustrate something sleazy but which could take place literally anywhere else.

[river buddy butcher 🤠 @rivbutcher]

Oh, one last thing: when the clock strikes midnight, god willing, I will have made it through 2020 without watchin Tiger Fuckin King and I am proud of myself for that

[Grace Petrie @gracepetrie]

Worried about lesbians? Why does the Times not start a lesbian culture column? Why does JK Rowling not use her gargantuan platform to write a world best seller series about a lesbian kid? Why does your concern for lesbian visibility never involve making any lesbians visible?

[cipheramnesia @cipheramnesia]

A fifteen minute break isn't long enough for the crying I have scheduled and I can't afford to use up my PTO on it.

[Jared @bj_slive]

makes you think

[cipheramnesia @cipheramnesia]

Why can’t I just get a pill that makes me taste soy sauce flavored noodles whenever I want to?

[cipheramnesia @cipheramnesia]

Sorry for whatever perfectly reasonable thing you were posting about before I intervened.

[cipheramnesia @cipheramnesia]

Look, at some point all of us have been taken over by a mind controlling alien parasite and gone on a murderous rampage. It’s not a big deal. Go upstairs and get the mop out of the closet. I’ll go get the pickaxe and garbage bags.

[cipheramnesia @cipheramnesia]

Hasn’t flavor technology advanced enough?

The answer is no. Not until I get my flamin hot totino’s pizza rolls crispy mc rib sandwich.

[cipheramnesia @cipheramnesia]

I farted so percussively it scared the deaf cat.

[cipheramnesia @cipheramnesia]

Hercules would have been a better show if Kevin Sorbo was Ares and Kevin Tod Smith playing Ares was Hercules and not a thing about their look was changed, it just was Kevin Sorbo getting his ass beat by Kevin Tod Smith in black leather with a sexy beard.

[cipheramnesia @cipheramnesia]

Me, shoving my special interests against one another: "NOW KISS."

[らら@漫画 @JonnitKessler]

i hope i am not just a twitter mutual to you guys but also a queer coded villian

[cipheramnesia @cipheramnesia]

Me, to no one, pulling off my shirt: Come get your fresh ripe tits, newly grown!

[cipheramnesia @cipheramnesia]

Thank you to everyone for voluntarily taste testing my lightly spiced artisanal neurodiversity sausage brain. It’s an uncomplicated sampler platter but I’m glad you have enjoyed the flavors.