They howled, pointing at my reddened cheeks. The sound drew my mother. She loved my siblings’ japes. My mother’s laughter, silver as a fountain down its rocks. “Stupid Circe.”
Once again, I wished that someone else were there on the island. Not to commiserate now, but to cherish him with me. I failed him, yet he is a sweet wonder of this world.
“But a monster, she always has a place. She may have all the glory her teeth can snatch. She will not be loved for it, but she will not be constrained either… I think it may be said that you improved her.”
I was breaking into pieces. I knew what I would see when I looked at him, his eager, pleading hope. He wanted to go. He had always wanted to go, from the moment he was born into my arms.
All I knew was that I hated her. For I was like any dull ass who has ever loved someone who loved another. I thought: if only she were gone, it would change everything.
I found a new thought in myself… The thought was this: that all my life had been murk and depths, but I was not a part of that dark water. I was a creature within it.
Ariadne’s light feet crossed the circle. I wanted to seize her by the shoulders. Whatever you do, I wanted to say, do not be too happy. It will bring down fire on your head.
I said nothing, and let her dance.
The nymphs wafted around me. Their smothered laughter drifted down the halls. At least, I told myself, it was not their brothers, who would have bragged and fought and hunted down my wolves. But of course that was never a real danger. Sons were not punished.
“Is it true? That you were not caught, but confessed to Zeus freely what you did?”
“It is.”
“Why?”
His eyes were steady on mine. “Perhaps you will tell me. Why would a god do such a thing?”
I thought once that gods are the opposite of death, but I see now they are more dead than anything, for they are unchanging, and can hold nothing in their hands.