Miriam Hyfler

I stage manage day and night. Tweet in the afternoon.

[Miriam Hyfler @citigrl84]

South Station. Boston needs a rhyme.

[Miriam Hyfler @citigrl84]

When everyone you know is rooting for Mexico but your neighborhood has a bohemian beergarten….

[Miriam Hyfler @citigrl84]

On game shows they rarely ask the contestants what they are gonna do with 20k anymore. #inflation

[Miriam Hyfler @citigrl84]

Every single candidate running has texted me today. Proof that they don’t know who requested an absentee ballot. I voted last week bitches.

[Miriam Hyfler @citigrl84]

All these articles like “did you know how bad dirty soda is for you?” People who drink dirty soda do not think it is good for you. That’s not the issue. It’s like subway surfing or vaping. It’s the thrill and the adrenaline, morons.

[Miriam Hyfler @citigrl84]

Can we get the nuns who bless the garden to hop on the 7 real quick and bless the Mets?

[Miriam Hyfler @citigrl84]

I ate at that blockheads so often that I wouldn’t be surprised if years from now someone googling vintage NYC found a pic of me in there.

[em @emilyagain]

RIP East Village Dallas BBQ and Blockheads, you would have pulled insane revenue and done crazy numbers during Knicks watch parties

[Miriam Hyfler @citigrl84]

Is there something passive aggressive about leaving a dictionary in a free little library?

[Miriam Hyfler @citigrl84]

I think what angers me about Botox or lip fillers is that people who do it think they are winning over those of us who don’t. Like, girl (or sir), I’m just on a park bench reading a book, I never agreed to play this stupid game. And it looks awful anyway.

[Miriam Hyfler @citigrl84]

Any sport with time clocks is so weird to me, because if you were to keep going indefinitely the outcome could ultimately be reversed. And in life even if we have a limited time to achieve things we don’t know the specific amount of time.

[Miriam Hyfler @citigrl84]

It’s not a bad economy so much as it is a whiplash economy. The dried fruit at my local supermarket is 4x the price so I only got one bag, and I’m also getting ads for using an app that will give you a $400 restaurant credit if you spend more than that. Wtf?

[Miriam Hyfler @citigrl84]

I met someone recently that didn’t know that as soon as you wash fruit it diminishes how long it’s good for so you should wash just the grapes you are eating not the whole bag. I caught myself before asking if they had parents.

[Miriam Hyfler @citigrl84]

In my head I reply to all emails in the Strong Bad voice.

[Miriam Hyfler @citigrl84]

Millennials hate crop tops. If someone were to start selling full-length shirts again they would make so much money.

[Miriam Hyfler @citigrl84]

This is officially the worst set of names in recent years. While I understand that Nana is indeed a name it also the most commonly used word for Grandma in most cultures and Fay wears practical shoes and is ignored by all the men in her life. Don’t underestimate her I guess.

[Miriam Hyfler @citigrl84]

Should we tell the World Cup tourists that our major cities spray for mosquitos during the summer months or let them be surprised when they see the helicopters?

[Miriam Hyfler @citigrl84]

I mean this in the nicest way possible but if you are using words like “fractal engagement” on linked in you are just not living life. I beg you to enjoy nice spring/summer days, eat real food, check in with those you love, get help for your corporate euphemism problem.

[Miriam Hyfler @citigrl84]

Me (watching a little girl dragging a huge stick while her mom is trying to get her to leave the park): That’s a really good stick.
Deadpan Greek mom: No, it is the best stick. It is the best stick in the whole of the park.

[Miriam Hyfler @citigrl84]

Nyc: must we full blast the AC when it gets the least bit warm outside? Let us enjoy the interim when we are not sweating but also not freezing.

[Miriam Hyfler @citigrl84]

I really liked Mental Floss but lately it seems like they are being pedantic just to harsh what little buzz we have left.

[Mental Floss @mental_floss]

Did Vikings Really Wear Horned Helmets? https://t.co/Ld3Njk4eEZ