Cigarettes killed Asmodean

[Cigarettes killed Asmodean @citizenbleys]

I've just been startled awake from a dream in which my name was force-changed by the court to "Prince Bumbum Badumdum Fubbleguck," so if I ever say something is "A dream come true," this is the one I am referring to

[Cigarettes killed Asmodean @citizenbleys]

@Richard39931258 @GeneralMCNews Canada has a population of 40 million. 10 billion divided by 40 million is a paltry $250. Do you really expect us to sell our souls for $250, especially to people who can't do elementary school math?

[Cigarettes killed Asmodean @citizenbleys]

@PatLeahyIT @daraobriain Best part of this image is that the Heard and MacDonald Islands are populated exclusively by penguins

[Cigarettes killed Asmodean @citizenbleys]

@daraobriain Whatever anyone says about it, it has the fastest growing population in the world. It's constantly Dublin.

[Cigarettes killed Asmodean @citizenbleys]

@HalfwayPost They could call it the Donniejugend 🙄

[Cigarettes killed Asmodean @citizenbleys]

When a Canadian says "We're doing talking, bud," you dun fucked up

[Cigarettes killed Asmodean @citizenbleys]

Update: qwerty keyboard layout is still AIDS

[Cigarettes killed Asmodean @citizenbleys]

Okay the qwerty keyboard layout is AIDS. I already want my Colemak back

[Cigarettes killed Asmodean @citizenbleys]

Just switched my keyboard layout back to qwerty in the middle of a shift because I hate myself and deserve to suffer

[Cigarettes killed Asmodean @citizenbleys]

@Egwene_al_Vere Egwene is a badass? Nynaeve has joined the chat 🤣

[Cigarettes killed Asmodean @citizenbleys]

@goddammitsarah Lies. I warned you about the back thing. I warned everyone!

It stays like that forever btw

[Cigarettes killed Asmodean @citizenbleys]

@daraobriain What makes it better is that it's legal to ship live bees by Canada Post. Careful what packages you shake.
(Also, the reading lesson should be the trailer for the Blu-ray of this tour. No context, just the start of the joke)

[Cigarettes killed Asmodean @citizenbleys]

@conzmoleman @HooiWanV It's an apples and oranges comparison. A pit bull is a dog, and a chihuahua is a Canada Goose that has been cursed into a dog shape by an evil bog witch.

[Cigarettes killed Asmodean @citizenbleys]

@daraobriain If it's even half as good as the last one I'm psyched

[Cigarettes killed Asmodean @citizenbleys]

@banditloaf It had to be a bad war to make everyone hero worship the guy who ended it by means of a war crime

[Cigarettes killed Asmodean @citizenbleys]

@Madam_Adequate Clive's mom's a bitch she's a big fat bitch she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world 🎶

[Cigarettes killed Asmodean @citizenbleys]

Haven't got far in #finalfantasy16 yet but I have met Clive's mom and somebody please tell me that there is such thing as a clitoral tumor after all

[наталка 💙💛 (they/them) @nataliya_gurba]

… the who’s what now?

[Cigarettes killed Asmodean @citizenbleys]

Tfw you're 2/3 of the way through trying a new beverage and you glance at the label, and from the corner of your eye misread "carbonated" as "contaminated"

[Dara Ó Briain @daraobriain]

This sign outside my show in Carlisle tonight may raise false expectations.

[Cigarettes killed Asmodean @citizenbleys]

@justforlaughs @daraobriain Hopefully there isn't a new plague outbreak the day before you come to Canada again 😂