CJ Jordan

Operations & analytics leader. Home automation, gardening, cooking, and beats. Crocs always in all-terrain mode.

[CJ Jordan @cjjords]

Cribbage is a weird game.

2 player is amazing, because you're trying to mess with each other the entire time.

3 player is boring, as it's pure luck.

4 player loops around to amazing again; if house rules allow any and all table talk.

[CJ Jordan @cjjords]

.@RBC On the 5th person I've been transferred to. Literally asking for a ledger of 2024 debits/credits on the single VISA account I have with you (a bunch of people might need that during tax season, but what do I know?)

[CJ Jordan @cjjords]

.@RBC Your VISA Customer Support has a very... interesting concept of what "support" entails. Have been an Infinite customer for ~20 years. Would appreciate an escalation, here.

[CJ Jordan @cjjords]

Is everyone a lefty when playing air guitar in the car?

[CJ Jordan @cjjords]

.@IBKR Your Canadian wing makes it really hard to give you my money. I've been waiting on hold for 45 minutes (and still counting) for support to try and get into my account and transfer cash in. One would think you'd prioritize this type of this, no?

[CJ Jordan @cjjords]

You expect moving to be a wistful time, but you're just remembering that phase during the lockdowns where you were "totally into rare books".

[CJ Jordan @cjjords]

A decent amount of armed robberies have to be from people in the process of moving, unintentionally.

"Sir, that'll be $20.75" (Pulls out a boxcutter) "Sorry, missed the wallet" (Pulls out another boxcutter), repeat x10.

[CJ Jordan @cjjords]

.@RBC Wasn't exactly pumped with your phone supports' lack of... support (I guess). Asked for a hand on something that should be simple, and got stonewalled after being a credit card customer for decades. Can you assist?

[CJ Jordan @cjjords]

@LinkedIn Can I update a previous employment description or is that not a thing anymore? (I'm getting a modal that refuses to scroll on "Edit", so I can't see anything but the basics).

[CJ Jordan @cjjords]

@mttgrmm I'd suggest also including YoE for the confusion factor.

"Wait, is it you have 10 years of experience working or of eating croissants?"

[CJ Jordan @cjjords]

My specialty is a real solid jambalaya - it is not a meal that is "photo ready".

[Mike Abrusci @mikeabrusci]

Every guy has a meal he eats all the time that could basically be described as Dog Food For Boys

[CJ Jordan @cjjords]

@rvc330 Long blue button-ups.

[CJ Jordan @cjjords]

.@TD_Canada So I'm clear, you have tens of thousands of people in tech roles - but being able to review Savings > Chequing transfers on EasyWeb (much less making a simple change to the amount) requires a call to an outsourced call center?

[CJ Jordan @cjjords]

@VCBrags Feel like I'm missing context on the bag thing - is it the name that's obnoxious or the "optimizing sleep"?

[CJ Jordan @cjjords]

.@BlueAngels You're in Canada, it's not "practice" - it's "taking 'er for a rip, bud". Heck of a fun time watching you.

[CJ Jordan @cjjords]

@RobertMSterling Say what you want about OpenAI or Microsoft - but try using Edge for recipes.

If you're looking for a temperature/timing it's decent vs. reading a blog about "scents that take me back to childhood" and scrolling 10 screens to realize they're suggesting baking chicken at 500C.

[CJ Jordan @cjjords]

@GergelyOrosz People forget how bad it was in the early aughts.

My favourite gimmick was "slam the breaks randomly and claim it messed up the credit card machine".

Not only do I have to threaten to walk out RE: lies, but I also get a good head bonk from the plexiglass.

[CJ Jordan @cjjords]

@HarryStebbings It's really dependent on the shape of your feet - and a good running shop will know right off the top of their head:

"I know you have your heart set on those flashy Nikes,
Mr. Fat Foot, but being honest - your options are New Balance or Brooks."

[CJ Jordan @cjjords]

@aubreystrobel Middle seat, sitting between a nun and a younger guy watching a movie with a heck of a lot of nudity on his laptop... and this is on a plane that didn't have seatback screens, so you pretty much had nowhere better to look.

[CJ Jordan @cjjords]

@GergelyOrosz Anecdotally - a lot. If a key SRE leaves and you're using GCP/Azure, feedback is usually, "We roughly get what they were doing." On AWS? "Absolutely no clue what they've squirreled away in here. Who's up for starting over on something else?"