CJL

Undercover comedian and general grumpy bastard, oh and on instagram as lawtoncj77 so fill your boots.

[CJL @cjlawton]

@sky please can you reply confirming refund on subscription due to appalling coverage of the darts this evening. I’ve watched more adverts that darts thrown.

[CJL @cjlawton]

#skysports assuming you will be issuing a pro rata one day refund to all sky sports subscribers, ruining a night of great darts

[CJL @cjlawton]

@Morrisons terrible service for third week running for home grocery delivery. Derives either very early or very late. Indian customer service call centre non existent just left on hold endlessly and managers never call back

[CJL @cjlawton]

Dear @HelloFreshUK please please please can you make your bloody mind up as to whether honey comes as an ingredient or is required as a “pantry item” as you seem to change your bloody mind every week!!

[CJL @cjlawton]

@shaunmwing @VictoriaCoren @HMRCcustomers Underrated tweet (if they are still called tweets)

[CJL @cjlawton]

@JonWalters19 Title??

[CJL @cjlawton]

@fesshole Does John Cleese play the main role or Michael Palin (either way it doesn't really sound that funny)

[CJL @cjlawton]

@fesshole Cleaned her right out

[CJL @cjlawton]

@LaurenLayfield

[CJL @cjlawton]

@anon_opin Low percentage that

[CJL @cjlawton]

@fesshole In fairness, there will be lots of bigger ladies there.

[CJL @cjlawton]

@graceyldn We go to Bruges every year in the Autumn (I only see it as a cold holiday destination) , anyway we always watch this film a week before we go as a tradition.

[CJL @cjlawton]

@fasc1nate Clickbate, now fuck off

[CJL @cjlawton]

@NoContextBrits Amusing twitter threads that require minimal input from the original tweeter.

[CJL @cjlawton]

@fesshole You'd have been happy if he had made a "song and dance" about it though

[CJL @cjlawton]

@latestinspace It's from a polo mission

[CJL @cjlawton]

@JeffStelling @CarrieBrownTV I’m with Jeff on this, he showed his true colours that day and thats how I will remember him.

[CJL @cjlawton]

@fesshole SOP isn’t it?

[CJL @cjlawton]

@INBRed_Devil @fesshole Roll up Saturday

[CJL @cjlawton]

@bet365 yet again your app and site fail, no cash out at all. 5 fold winning but nothing I can do about it!! Refunds all round