Chester Applewhite

3rd base coach for the Birmingham Buffaloes Softball Team-- love Dale Jr., New Balance, and my wife Denise, in that order

[Chester Applewhite @cl_applewhite]

Daughter wants me to late her shop at Hot Topic. That's no place for a 15 year old

[Chester Applewhite @cl_applewhite]

The lady at Popeye's didn't think my "hands up don't shoot" joke was funny

[Chester Applewhite @cl_applewhite]

@FishingPeteB @Norman_Jenkins7 @hockeydad717 @DaveLambeau @Chipping4Birdey big party on Friday, pack up the Winnebago!

[Chester Applewhite @cl_applewhite]

Jesus built the pyramids. 9 out of 8 ancient astronaut theorists would agree

[Chester Applewhite @cl_applewhite]

Black Lives Matter claims to be the largest grassroots movement in the country, but I would argue #dicksoutforharambe is much larger

[Chester Applewhite @cl_applewhite]

I didn't even know my butthole could make that noise

[Chester Applewhite @cl_applewhite]

Do you think Harambe was cremated or given a traditional gorilla burial?

[Chester Applewhite @cl_applewhite]

@Norman_Jenkins7 wait a minute Norm, Bill claims he never even inhaled

[Chester Applewhite @cl_applewhite]

Fuck liberals

[Chester Applewhite @cl_applewhite]

Chef Boyardee microwave cups are on sale. Should I get ravioli or beefaroni?

[Chester Applewhite @cl_applewhite]

Doctor: Just how many filet of fish sandwiches did you eat?
Me: How many is too many?

[Chester Applewhite @cl_applewhite]

Anybody in the Birmingham area know where I can train my Snorlax?

[Chester Applewhite @cl_applewhite]

Do you ever hyperventilate when you hear the words "free continental breakfast?"... me too!

[Chester Applewhite @cl_applewhite]

Just saw a commercial for the new loaded bloomin onion at Outback. What a time to be alive

[Chester Applewhite @cl_applewhite]

Pull my finger

[Chester Applewhite @cl_applewhite]

Who the hell uses their 7 days of paid vacation to take off for Shark week? #PlotTwist this guy

[PMVBC B Team @PmvbcB]

Next time you pass a deer and take it for granted remember this: Deer can grow freakin antlers, that's incredible, bones outside their heads

[Chester Applewhite @cl_applewhite]

Level 20 archer in Runescape! Great Sunday night

[Chester Applewhite @cl_applewhite]

drinking orange juice with pulp in it is like blowing your nose with sandpaper

[Chester Applewhite @cl_applewhite]

no matter what my dreams are about, I always wake up with a boner. am I cursed or blessed?