Chris

the coolest on the planet

[Vyber(fan) @_Mac_lfc]

*Me throughout the whole year laughing at how in the USA they call football soccer*

United States out of absolutely nowhere:

[Brian Ross @brewmeone]

Australians watching their team go down 0-2 to Team USA…

[Paddy Raff @paddyraffcomedy]

Describing a Toblerone to someone who’s never had one before

[l feII in Dior @LIRIO_AG]

“Ay no, tarjeta gris otra vez”.

[NJ TRANSIT @NJTRANSIT]

The Deputy Chief became aware of the situation and made a command decision to assist. ESU responded and provided a “rescue” transfer to the stadium using a light truck, ensuring the pair could still make it to the event.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[FADE @FadeAwayMedia]

Scotty 2 Hotty and his son sharing the ring together is one of the coolest full circle moments in wrestling.

YOU ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO SEE IT.

[Russell Wilson @DangeRussWilson]

Thank You, Football.

Love, #3

[WBR @W_B_Rick]

This video contains the most merciless, efficient killing machine America’s ever produced.

Behind Curt Cignetti in the pace car there’s also a few Blackhawk helicopters.

[Josh Pate @JoshPateCFB]

I could listen to Curt Cignetti tell the story of the Penn State game a million times

[Baltimore Ravens @Ravens]

@elijah_sarratt

[Roger Clark @RogerClark41]

The coldest beer in town? Farrell’s in Windsor Terrace #Brooklyn makes that claim! A film is in the works exploring the history of the bar called “Why Farrell’s?” @NY1 #NYC #Beer

[Curt Cignetti @CCignettiIU]

Correct, not even close.

#GOIU #IUFB

[Mitch Goldich 🐙 @mitchgoldich]

The biggest game of the first round is on Friday, when Long Island battles Arizona for iced tea supremacy

[Dave Smith @ComicDaveSmith]

People will bust @luisjgomez balls for this , and they should, it’s hilarious and there has never been a human being in history who was more willing to make himself the butt of the joke than Luis. It’s why he’s the best podcaster in the world.

The truth is that Luis is genuinely a great person. He’s the most loyal friend I’ve ever had. He’d fight a hundred guys without asking a question for me and probably any of his friends. He’s a great father, a brilliant mind, and a hilarious comedian.

All ball busting aside, I pray my son grows up to be a man with Luis’ integrity.

[sam @sam_d_1995]

Zohran quoted in the American Express press release, woke capital is so back

[Ocho Drinko @ochodrinko85]

I do not want more snow. I want to sit on St. Marks street with my ankles and a little bit of chest hair showing, and drink Modelo with my boys. Please, I’m begging. This is that rat fuck groundhog’s fault.

[Thomas Massie @RepThomasMassie]

Prince Andrew was just arrested. This was the metric I established for success of the Epstein Files Transparency Act that @RepRoKhanna and I got passed.

Now we need JUSTICE in the United States. It’s time for @AGPamBondi and @FBIDirectorKash to act! https://t.co/Ltj6VTPRhm

[🇺🇸World Cup Hoosier Soldier🇺🇸 @DidIndianaW]

True

[Team USA @TeamUSA]

The throw that rewrote history for @usacurl! 🦅

#WinterOlympics