claire

Opinions are an amalgamation of a thousand tweets, childhood trauma, and every scene from parks and rec. ✨ stream DYKTTATUOB!! she/her ♎️

[claire @clairdassian]

The end of an era, I’ll let Rimmer say it best 🥲

#Twittershutdown #TwitterIsOverParty #reddwarf

[salwa @vanilitea]

So moving to see paul hollywood holding space for defying gravity #GBBO

[claire @clairdassian]

@Bella051004 😭 that’s so bad!! Fuck tm seriously!! Good luck hope you’re able to get some at a decent price!!

[claire @clairdassian]

Pinch me I’m dreaming!!! This is the greatest day of my life!! I am going to see Lana del Rey in Glasgow in 210 days!! 🎀🎀🎀

[rue 𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 @katssrfm]

just spent a ridiculous amount on lana del rey tickets and i don’t wanna talk about it

[claire @clairdassian]

@Bella051004 Presale link!! They were 140 each 😬😬 but there were cheaper ones, there’s still loads of seats and standing tix if you manage to get a link! think dynamic pricing is turned on tho

[claire @clairdassian]

Respectfully get out of my way #lanadelrey

[claire @clairdassian]

@TheSimpsons @FOXTV @hulu “Why did I have the bowl Bart, why did I have the bowl” is a phrase I use daily

[Tommy Stella @tommy_stella]

Send him in to interview her. He’ll get results.

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

I can play it by ear if I have advance notice that we are going to be playing it by ear

[anya @bittersweetswan]

isn’t it so funny how cats naturally smell so clean and soft like cookies and vanilla and then there’s dogs

[chamomile @nollywoodstemme]

firm believer that its possible to be sweet & compassionate, and also a relentless hater...
i've dedicated my life to proving this by example.

[claire @clairdassian]

@bra1nwashedbrat It might not even be stallion- could be ‘battalion’

[claire @clairdassian]

Genuinely thought our Singapore flight had crashed and we’d actually arrived in hell instead.

[Sir Michael @Michael1979]

Why do we only congratulate people for achieving big stuff like getting a new job, graduating, having a baby etc? We need to congratulate people who achieve smaller stuff too

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

okay but actually why is everyone saying the r word now? like I thought we collectively as a society moved past that in like 2002

[Goth Ms Frizzle 🧚🏻‍♀️ @g0thgoblin]

me: garlic bread is so good

garlic bread: go raibh maith agat

me: ah damn it this is gaelic bread

[𝐉𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐚. @damnjiggaa]

i can’t wait for outside to look like this 😩🍂🍁🪵

[claire @clairdassian]

@thinkiamsad agree- this has been my only bumper sticker for the past 3 years

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

sorry my room's a mess i got ready to go out one time seven months ago