clapeye

Seattle Seafair pirate, Cruise ship huckster, slacker, layabout and up and coming toastmaster

[clapeye @clapeye]

Just a heads up, going to be getting a fresh and more active start with Lance_the_bard-barian@bardlance

[clapeye @clapeye]

Listen to the most recent episode of my podcast: Cigar session 1 https://t.co/fNrTQkfZgQ

[clapeye @clapeye]

Check out my podcast, A Nick from Hanlon's Razor, on @anchor: https://t.co/kPkuiTRd4r

[clapeye @clapeye]

I don't think i understand Hentai....

I mean, yeah sure they allow them to eat in fancier restaurants but don't wool and feathers clash?

[clapeye @clapeye]

Soooooo.....I now believe that not only could the President shoot someone in the middle of 5th Avenue and get away with it, but I'm starting to believe he could shoot a US Ambassador in the middle of 5th Avenue and get away with it. Sincerely #thisisnotokay #sincerefear

[clapeye @clapeye]

Its better to be fondly remembered than remembered fondling..

[clapeye @clapeye]

Go outside, freezing cold. Ironically start to sing Singing in the Rain. Hilariously enough, the time I reach the bottom of my stairs… I'm happy again! #GeneKelly #moodmusic #ImWet

[clapeye @clapeye]

I'm not usually one to feel old but when I hear commercials about Mary Lou retton dealing with menopause.....

[clapeye @clapeye]

I find it odd that I keep credit on my @Starbucks app mostly to buy coffee and/or cookies for coworkers having bad days

[clapeye @clapeye]

Considering how much money that gal made giving out nudes for support for Australia, I think I can do the same except I will promise NOT to send people nudes if they donate #Manboobs #deadbod #OHGODWHYYYY

[clapeye @clapeye]

So the waiting room for my doctor has nearly floor to ceiling windows next to the entrance to a cineplex. It's a wonder more folks aren't standing outside with popcorn watching the primates #notyoursittingmonkey

[clapeye @clapeye]

I'm fairly certain adulthood is just acquiring a taste for crow and one's own feet

[clapeye @clapeye]

All I have to say is that practice makes Pervert

[clapeye @clapeye]

I may be odd but a visible neck tattoo that says "Beautiful Disaster" may qualify as a red flag

[clapeye @clapeye]

For those who need to hear it, even if you are living with depression, that doesn't mean parts of your life aren't genuinely shitty and worth trying to change.

[clapeye @clapeye]

Spilled beer... the worst drinking problem

[clapeye @clapeye]

So far today's largest challenges are wearing pants and not falling asleep under my desk

[clapeye @clapeye]

Well yeah shower beers are awesome.....

But have you tried shower ham?

[clapeye @clapeye]

I've achieved some king of bullshitters singularity. The convergence of vast, accessible, obscure trivia and a decades worth of personal, persuasive patter polishing has turned ne into a kind of Schroedingers smart ass. Equal chances of truth and nonsense

[clapeye @clapeye]

I've now been declared the most cordial guy at the Collection agency which has to be some rough equivalent of the best looking eunuch at the whorehouse