Clayeighr

Official sponsor of Anxiety ™

[Clayeighr @claresucks]

Tired of the phrase “unalive”? New terminology just dropped:

[Clayeighr @claresucks]

Love it when couples get engaged and caption the post that he “pulled off the surprise of a lifetime”. Girl you’ve been dating them forever the surprise of a lifetime would be Michael B Jordan proposing to ME via Jumbotron after having never heard my name (@michaelb4jordan 👀)

[Clayeighr @claresucks]

In #Barbie Ken sings “I want to take you for granted” at Barbie & then juxtaposes that when later telling her “I don’t want you to take me for granted”. Showing that it’s ok for him to treat her that way but not okay for her to do that to him. That’s why #Push was the song choice

[Clayeighr @claresucks]

@thelizfeldman

[Clayeighr @claresucks]

Jen saying it would be “weird” to name her daughter after @lindacardellini ’s character, to a character named after Linda Cardellini is 😙👌🏼 #DeadToMe @1capplegate

[Clayeighr @claresucks]

I think I’m not Type A and then I do shit like this

[Clayeighr @claresucks]

Drive thru, Big Slice 😎

[Clayeighr @claresucks]

Of COURSE Christians love guns. They worship the cross that killed Jesus; they’ll worship the things that kill our children

[Clayeighr @claresucks]

@lawyers please note this tweet as legally binding thank you

[Clayeighr @claresucks]

In the event of a tragedy, do I need an official Will, or will it be assumed, that as a childless millennial, all my assets go to dog?

[Clayeighr @claresucks]

Please consider this my formal application to be included as one of the exhibit pieces. Thank you.

[Trung Phan @TrungTPhan]

There's a "Museum of Failure" in Sweden which highlights 150+ failed products. It's meant to show that innovation requires risk-taking and failure.

Here are 10 gems you may not remember:

[Clayeighr @claresucks]

Instagram stories really are just Facebook statuses. You gunna tell me a boomerang of white wine over cheese isn’t the same as “hangingggg wif da gurrrlz :)”

[Clayeighr @claresucks]

@myliquidlibrary @NPR @maddow

[Clayeighr @claresucks]

Thinking maybe I watch too many true crime documentaries when at the doctors office, I overhear the nurse saying to the receptionist “the patient hasn’t been seen since August 2020” and we both gasp, but for very different reasons

[Clayeighr @claresucks]

Has it been discussed yet that Finland and Sweden make a penis

[Clayeighr @claresucks]

[at a restaurant]

Me, who knows NOTHING about fishing: THAT feels a little overpriced for the market price, don’t you think?

Me, who has bought the same bottle of wine for $9 at the local Walmart: yes I’ll have two $17 glasses of that thanks!

[Clayeighr @claresucks]

Pop vocal album just dropped

[Chicks in the Office @ChicksInTheOff]

Olivia Rodrigo dropped one of her #GRAMMYs

[Clayeighr @claresucks]

Me, complaining to my friend about the pain I’m in because an eyelash is in my eye: God sometimes it’s really the little things that hurt the most, Yknow

That friend in a hospital bed next to me because she literally broke her leg an hour prior:

[Clayeighr @claresucks]

While I am Pro-Crocs, I will agree that my argument for them is full of holes and holds no water

[Clayeighr @claresucks]

@K_Cal123 Freight train

[Clayeighr @claresucks]

Every time someone says team doors I’m like….have you never seen a train