Colt Carlson

Autistic Genius.

[Colt Carlson @classiccarlson]

@tctone No doubt. Tailed you all year and will continue to especially this week at Augusta. All the UConn love on twitter I just don’t get (As a Michigan fan lmao)

[Colt Carlson @classiccarlson]

“Yeah man I’m really ready for this weather to cool off”

Just the fucking worst guy you know.

[Colt Carlson @classiccarlson]

@HumphreyGman Thanks for letting me know Hump 👍🏻

[Colt Carlson @classiccarlson]

Yes little sister super proud of you for the new job!

[Colt Carlson @classiccarlson]

Yes please!

[Colt Carlson @classiccarlson]

Didn’t game plan for the rain prior to putting on the flops for class #RapeMe

[Colt Carlson @classiccarlson]

Dipshit outside the business school just asks me if I’m Jewish.

Thank God Iowa has concealed carry.

[Colt Carlson @classiccarlson]

Note to self to never wear boxer briefs at the gym again.

(Balls just slipped out on the leg press)

[Colt Carlson @classiccarlson]

Puked on my cellphone last night #Tough

[Colt Carlson @classiccarlson]

Scouts Honor Christmas tonight

[Colt Carlson @classiccarlson]

My buddy (does cocaine) and drinks excessively every weekend is now afraid of the ecoli in the lake water

[Colt Carlson @classiccarlson]

Newfound respect to pro golfers who walk 18 in these conditions.

Will never be doing that again.

[Colt Carlson @classiccarlson]

In a shocking development my unemployed buddy is now broke!

[Colt Carlson @classiccarlson]

Buddy pulling the “we’ve all been there”

No uhhh actually we haven’t!

[Colt Carlson @classiccarlson]

Names Braden, from Naperville and a fun fact about me is one time I pissed on a chicks bed #rush

[Colt Carlson @classiccarlson]

Are girls seriously unironically calling there bigs “mommy”??

[Colt Carlson @classiccarlson]

@HumphreyGman It’s Maximus or head first river jumps

[Colt Carlson @classiccarlson]

The girls are here!!!

[Colt Carlson @classiccarlson]

Sorry about your beverage miss, got a little thirsty!