petty betty

emotionally slutty

[petty betty @classicpetty]

Just realized “fire him” usually means from a job but if you’re talking about a baby it can also mean from a cannon

[Lorena 🐈‍⬛🪭 @pushyamoonn11]

Mercurial women

[50cent @50cent]

Here I am keeping good company with @DrewBarrymoreTV and I don’t have 1,000 bottles of lube at the house • https://t.co/jnbpt4Vpb3

[petty betty @classicpetty]

i only get one twitter 1 day a year and it’s 9/11

[evan loves worf @esjesjesj]

“Tomorrow I’m doing 9/11” is such a cool thing to say. You can’t even be mad about it. It’s perfect.

[rin ☾⋆⁺₊⋆🇵🇸 @rinnystarr]

10 sets of being silly and having fun at the gym

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

Your twenties are for two things: buying fun little drinks & being crushed by the inescapable feeling that everything about you is broken

[perneeya @dykeistan]

i would give my life for my friends i'd do anything for them except answer their text messages

[petty betty @classicpetty]

work friendsgiving

[petty betty @classicpetty]

me at any new job

[ellory smith @ellorysmith]

Rumpelstiltskin as hell

[emgracedawg @emgracedawg]

hey sorry i was being a bitch i always do that any time i feel like it randomly

[James @CaucasianJames]

just seeing this now. this changes everything

[lily zella jackson @lilyzella]

All seagulls are boys. A girl wouldn’t do that

[petty betty @classicpetty]

amazing this falls on 9/11

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary

[helena riley @freshhel]

I wonder if kylies italian greyhounds look at Timothy and assume he’s their biological father