The E in E-girl stands for Ethan

I'm your Favorite Fatty From Flordia, your Heavyset Hilarious, putting the he/him in he/himbo since 2001.

[The E in E-girl stands for Ethan @classictaco]

HGTV shows be like

Workers: Yeah, so the door is too big for the wall

Narrator: Let's cut to commercial, because we don't know what THE FUCK we're going to do

Me: you're going to cut like another inch into the wall

After commercials: so get this

[The E in E-girl stands for Ethan @classictaco]

Whoever said the way to a man's heart is through his stomach has clearly never pegged one

[The E in E-girl stands for Ethan @classictaco]

You said the plane is broken? AND there's a bug infestation? Don't worry, I have just the thing for this.

*Unravels fly tape*

[The E in E-girl stands for Ethan @classictaco]

Holy shit I am so thirsty

I could also use a glass of water

[The E in E-girl stands for Ethan @classictaco]

"it's all the back to school shopping for all your back to school needs!" Okay where's the cyanide capsule I can crunch on when I embarrass myself on the first day

[The E in E-girl stands for Ethan @classictaco]

Call me the battery in your mom's vibrator because I am all out of energy

[The E in E-girl stands for Ethan @classictaco]

"ooh, maybe she's born with it" Maybe she's day drinking

[The E in E-girl stands for Ethan @classictaco]

*sucks on antidepressants like they're mints*
aw yeah that's the stuff

[The E in E-girl stands for Ethan @classictaco]

Mark my words boys, you're all going to get bored in your 50s and find your g spot for the first time like "damn I should have listened to Ethan when I was in highschool"

[The E in E-girl stands for Ethan @classictaco]

@JeilianneV : You're so hot 😍😚😉

Me: Thanks, I have a fever

[The E in E-girl stands for Ethan @classictaco]

Horse politics is always so infuriating, every time I try and and introduce new policies to better the community it's always neigh and never yay

[The E in E-girl stands for Ethan @classictaco]

The ultimate goal of both my worst enemy and my best love is to keep me alive

[The E in E-girl stands for Ethan @classictaco]

I like to do at least one embarrassing thing per semester, not at least fifty

[The E in E-girl stands for Ethan @classictaco]

My favorite part of ringing in the new year was all the people who dressed out looking at me like "damn, I bet he's so much more comfortable than me right now"

[The E in E-girl stands for Ethan @classictaco]

@graceedeedrick "Wha?!?! I would never, POTTER, never think of... Holding you in my arms... And whispering in your ear...and riding brooms with you in the moonlight"

[The E in E-girl stands for Ethan @classictaco]

Draco Malfoy seems like the kind of guy who would be offended at "you know, being so obsessed with me is kind of gay" and I'm dissapointed that Harry never laid one of those on him

[The E in E-girl stands for Ethan @classictaco]

@kvic_frthistime DEPRESSION DADDIES

[The E in E-girl stands for Ethan @classictaco]

Idk why people ask me if I work out. Look at me. You know your answer.

[The E in E-girl stands for Ethan @classictaco]

I submitted a shitty midterm to Canvas, and Canvas rewarded me with confetti. Yay.

[The E in E-girl stands for Ethan @classictaco]

#NewProfilePic, same flowery background

[The E in E-girl stands for Ethan @classictaco]

X-Men comic book but the conflict is centered around how e
Charles has a cold so terrible everytime he sneezes the entire world stops