clearance rack

an Emily in Paris hate account

[clearance rack @clearanceraque]

Why is it when someone asks me to take a picture with flash all the brain cells fall out of my ears and suddenly I’ve never used an iPhone in my life

[clearance rack @clearanceraque]

Haven’t had to use a glue stick in a long time. Man I miss the rush

[clearance rack @clearanceraque]

Quantity: 2

[clearance rack @clearanceraque]

Can only imagine what was going through the target employees mind who assisted with this drive up order on a Friday night. #plantbaseddiet #whole30 #75hard

[clearance rack @clearanceraque]

@DrewAfualo boosting until you see this😭

[clearance rack @clearanceraque]

@DrewAfualo No one asked to hear Kyle’s shitty fucking suggestions OR asked to see his weird tiny nipples and entire thighs, yet here we are. Since he’s all about giving feedback I would suggest he stops shopping in the girls section of Athleta for his shorts.

[clearance rack @clearanceraque]

Never forget when my iPhone decided to make a cute lil movie using the photos I had to take for insurance after a car accident

[julia @juliashiplett]

iPhone Photos will make a lil movie of the saddest month of your life w/o your permission

[clearance rack @clearanceraque]

Other niche anxieties include:

Wondering if maybe accidentally packed a gun in my suitcase going through TSA *has never seen a gun once in real life*

Sending a friend a link to a funny TikTok then opening my email to check I didn’t accidentally email it to my boss by mistake

[clearance rack @clearanceraque]

My anxiety is so weird and niche most people are like “I’m worried about an upcoming review with my boss” and my anxiety is like “why did two people look at me when I walked into work this morning? What if I’m not wearing pants??? Would they tell me if I’m not??”

[clearance rack @clearanceraque]

My anxiety is so weird and niche most people are like “I’m worried about an upcoming review with my boss” and my anxiety is like “why did two people look at me when I walked into work this morning? What if I’m not wearing pants??? Would they tell me if I’m not??”

[clearance rack @clearanceraque]

@BillGates hey

[clearance rack @clearanceraque]

I would rather read and notate a dictionary than listen to someone tell me about a dream they had last night

[clearance rack @clearanceraque]

Today during a peloton class I looked over and saw a reflection of myself in the window. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time and expect 3-5 business days before I can respond to any inquiries

[clearance rack @clearanceraque]

Moderna Mimosas? Pfizer Pfizzies? Does anyone know a patent lawyer SOS

[clearance rack @clearanceraque]

I think Moderna and Pfizer could compete with some of the larger players in the hard seltzer space who agrees??? brb I’m gonna pitch this on shark tank

[clearance rack @clearanceraque]

@mcuban

[clearance rack @clearanceraque]

I’ve gotta beef up my LinkedIn endorsements. Can y’all endorse me for having a dumptruck

[clearance rack @clearanceraque]

A fun thing ppl do at work is call me and ask “hey are you busy?”

Am I supposed to:

1. Say no I’m sitting here in front of my computer with my dick in my hand or

2. Yes I’m rly busy stay the fuck away from me

??? What is the appropriate response?

[clearance rack @clearanceraque]

I miss the Suez Canal drama that was so much fun

[clearance rack @clearanceraque]

Ok I’ll bite: what is Depop

[clearance rack @clearanceraque]

I’m so bad at pop culture I had to google what the oscars are even for. My guess was literally music?? Then I googled the winner and had to google that as well #influencer #AEPartner