Andrew Clement

Just a hunk of carbon with a solid, middle-class upbringing.

[Andrew Clement @Clementron3000]

Tonight at 9: House of Curds, followed by an all-new Game of Scones. Only on the Food Network.

[Andrew Clement @Clementron3000]

Me: "2018 is the year I make my triumphant return to Twitter."
*Trips, falls down flight of stairs, screams continuously*

[Andrew Clement @Clementron3000]

Ridin' Solo: A Star Wars Porn Parody

[Andrew Clement @Clementron3000]

@ohtmitch Sometimes I wonder... did he ever find that new sound he was looking for?

[Andrew Clement @Clementron3000]

We've already lost one rock legend this year. Please don't take Marvin Berry from us too.

[Andrew Clement @Clementron3000]

Getting a major "Drive, but with replicants" vibe from the new Blade Runner trailer.

[Andrew Clement @Clementron3000]

I blame Richard Dawkins for unleashing memes on the world.

[Andrew Clement @Clementron3000]

@seerchucker Fair enough. I kind of expected Ohio to go red, but Wisconsin really boggles my mind.

[Andrew Clement @Clementron3000]

Really disappointed in my home state. Go to hell, Ohio.

[Andrew Clement @Clementron3000]

This is probably the most nail-biting experience I've ever had.

[Andrew Clement @Clementron3000]

It's pretty bizarre when Glenn Beck is considered a voice of reason in this election.

[Andrew Clement @Clementron3000]

My first bachelorette party! #blessed

[Andrew Clement @Clementron3000]

Wait, when the hell did Justin Vernon get into numerology? Reading his new song titles is just mind-boggling.

[Andrew Clement @Clementron3000]

It may actually be the worst album I've ever heard, but dear god is it beautiful.

[Andrew Clement @Clementron3000]

NEWS FLASH: There's a ska cover album of "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea."
https://t.co/OJO7Z1D3OO

[Andrew Clement @Clementron3000]

How do we stop the juggernaut that is Trump? The answer is simple: Vote Vermin Supreme. #ImWithVermin

[Andrew Clement @Clementron3000]

Saw a guy at the airport with a knuckle tattoo that said "HAND." Bravo, sir. Two thumbs up.

[Andrew Clement @Clementron3000]

For the record, I'm really hoping the new Frank Ocean album is nothing but Cure covers.

[Andrew Clement @Clementron3000]

My greatest moment in high school was when I found a half-price t-shirt at American Eagle.

[Andrew Clement @Clementron3000]

Googled "Warriors Cavs" and ended up at https://t.co/z9BGWAgiCd. Probably the best mistake of my life.

[Andrew Clement @Clementron3000]

Regretting my decision to write in Lincoln Chafee in the Indiana primaries. #feelthechafe