cal

Flaming hot anthropomorphic Cheeto

[cal @clhghs]

It’s June again

[cal @clhghs]

I AM:
⚪ single
⚪ in a relationship
⚪ married
⚪ engaged
⚪ divorced
🔘 hanging out in my apartment, I've got some candles lit I'm feeling good I've had eight glasses of wine—

[cal @clhghs]

The first major realization that Christmas is drugs. You will never be that high on Hess trucks and cookies again.

[cal @clhghs]

Do you wish you could:

Stress the already fragile interrelationships of your loved ones?

Be reminded of the absence of you those you cared about?

Witness the punctuated decay of your elderly family?

We present: 𝕮𝖍𝖗𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖒𝖆𝖘™

[cal @clhghs]

We have a dog that looks exactly like this now

[cal @clhghs]

Been seeing the same guy since October trying to remember normal bf responsibilities I just

[cal @clhghs]

My only contribution to society

[cal @clhghs]

*melancholy Thats So Raven theme plays softly*

[cal @clhghs]

Fly would have gotten rid of my loans by now

[cal @clhghs]

Fly 2020

[cal @clhghs]

I’m going back through my timeline while exiting this burning heap of an app and I’m equally appalled and unsurprised this was my only viral tweet. I had better concepts but I’m just too wordy. If you’re still reading this tweet congratulations my social security number is 992-27

[cal @clhghs]

@QueenCiairra @loneamorphous Oh thx

[cal @clhghs]

I was in and out of that store for two years before I finally bought a piano. I went back in after I bought it because I couldn’t wait to play it and he punched me in the throat.

[cal @clhghs]

Beware the old queers, just went to a piano store and had a man tell me my life story in the first 10 minutes

Read to filth but he showed me around for two hours and I’ve secured the Friends & Family discount

[cal @clhghs]

Don’t worry this tweet is punching up cause my little arms barely reach

[cal @clhghs]

How my tall boyfriend sees it vs. reality

[cal @clhghs]

Tl;dr voting in Wisconsin feels good, we won hard, and fuck the 1849 abortion ban enforcing gerrymandering union busting vote suppressing school vouchering trans panicking fucks who ever claim to represent us

[cal @clhghs]

If anyone’s wondering about WhizCheeseCan politics

1. A swing state is DIFFERENT every couple years. If you don’t have unlimited data, you will die.

2. $42 million in state Supreme Court election spending can and does look like 17 handwritten personal calls to action.

[cal @clhghs]

Losing control of the judicial branch was not in the best interest of groups like this but the vote wasn’t even close.

I think the GOP/groups like ALEC are losing their power to insidiously shape the country with no regard for the people who these laws are supposed to benefit.

[cal @clhghs]

My boyfriend’s love language is Massive Bitch Liar

[cal @clhghs]

*slaps Donny Osmond* you can step so many stairs to this bad boy

[cal @clhghs]

@emthsyl @raetheforce (I’m in this club, I’ve watched this show exactly once lol.) Sondheim only did the lyrics though!!

[cal @clhghs]

@emthsyl @raetheforce Blocked