Nasty Magician

The true dark voice behind the performance smile.

[Nasty Magician @closeuptragic]

That dreadful moment when you gesture to an audience member for their hand, only to look down at their gammy arthritis-ridden hand. #sorry

[Nasty Magician @closeuptragic]

Performing mind reading effects on couples and sewing a seed of doubt in their relationship with "the name Jason is very important to you".

[Nasty Magician @closeuptragic]

There's no need to be rude. Much the same as there's no need to t-bag your creme brûlée #misdirection #fucktwat #magic

[Nasty Magician @closeuptragic]

Just rang my sweaty briefs out into a hecklers Pimms while they went to powder their oversized snooty bugle

[Nasty Magician @closeuptragic]

Statistically, the number of people that have 'wronged' me is very similar to the number who found a bogey wiped on their jacket or blouse.

[Chris Cox @bigcox]

I'm delighted to announce that Mr Blobby and a Minion have had a child together. Both mother and baby are doing well.

[Nasty Magician @closeuptragic]

1/2 However, we haven't all followed him to his home and pushed 6 trodden on bananas through his door. #banana #arsehole

[Nasty Magician @closeuptragic]

1/2 We have all met that tweed-clad, pompous 80 something year old with overbearing eyebrows who treats you like something on his shoe...

[Nasty Magician @closeuptragic]

At a wedding fair today wondering where it all went wrong. Dreary soulless people who care about chairs more than entertainment... gooches!

[Magicana @sharingwonder]

#TakeTwo by @jamyianswiss Do magicians get fooled? Maybe, if they're watching sleight-of-handster @BenEarl52 WATCH: https://t.co/Bsv449MBtF

[Nasty Magician @closeuptragic]

What a prize BELLEND.

[Ketsymagic @KetsyMagic]

#balicewedding #balice

[Nasty Magician @closeuptragic]

"You could be on Britain's Got Talent".... Yeah and you could be on "Super fat versus super skinny"!

[Nasty Magician @closeuptragic]

Absolutely no knobheads this weekend... How nice to perform magic on an audience free of squelchers!! #youknowwhoyouare

[Nasty Magician @closeuptragic]

What on earth do I do with an angry traveller that wants to inspect my lemons?

[Nasty Magician @closeuptragic]

Madame, when you ruined my trick for a quick laugh amongst peers... You failed to notice me throw a fart cupcake down your champagne flute!

[Nasty Magician @closeuptragic]

I know you picked the King of Diamonds so don't pull my pudding. Pudding pullers are really not welcome. #kingofpuddingpullers

[The Singing Cabbie @singingcabbieuk]

Rehearsals at The London Palladium With Bradley Walsh Great entertainer and a genuinely nice guy