One of my favorite things He Yu said about Xiao Huayong was why the character touched him.
"The way he respects a woman."
He explained:
"He respects her wishes, instead of what he thinks her wishes are. And then he helps pave the way for her."
I love that distinction. Xiao Huayong doesn't decide what's best for Shen Xihe, he respects what she wants and does everything he can to help her achieve it.